


A Person Within A Person

by jhunieilarde



Category: Hannibal (TV), The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Crossover, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:07:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 42,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25687045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhunieilarde/pseuds/jhunieilarde
Summary: After the events in One Son...Scully had accepted an assignment which required her to go undercover. When Mulder returned, he found out his partner is already gone.Few years later, a case landed on Mulder's lap asking him to check out brutal crimes left unresolved in Baltimore, Maryland. He did not expect that he will find more than a break in his case in there.(crossover between X Files and Hannibal; when Scully went undercover as Bedelia Du Maurier)(trying something else here...i know i did The Fall and Hannibal crossover with Stella using Bedelia Du Maurier as cover but i want to explore how it would turn out with Scully and Mulder being in the situation with Hannibal's world)
Relationships: Bedelia Du Maurier/Hannibal Lecter, Fox Mulder/Dana Scully, Hannibal Lecter/Dana Scully
Comments: 23
Kudos: 148





	1. She's Gone

**Author's Note:**

> so i got this idea after watching Bedelia scenes and i thought it would be fun to put Scully in that position and see her play with Hannibal so i am giving this a try. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

Don’t make it personal…

Those words stuck to her brain like a song she couldn’t get over with. After all the years she spent with him, she thought by now, he would consider her as part of the team, to share his crusade because it has become her fight too. It is not metaphorically put. It is her fight too in a sense that she has been abducted, experimented on, and her life is depending on a small piece of metal at the back of her neck. Aside from that, her sister was murdered for their search for the truth. Mulder may have lost his sister and it haunted him to no end but she had lost a lot too and it’s not just her past or present. She also lost her future too which is her ability to have a child.

Him saying to not make it personal struck a lot of her nerves. How dare he say that after everything? He knows what she’s been through. Hell, he’s been at her bedside when she’s fighting for her life, twice, and she’s not allowed to make it personal?

Mulder had accused her of being jealous of Diana and maybe she is but beyond that, it’s a genuine concern for Mulder and his life’s work. She is only trying to protect him and he sees it as something absurd and petty. So when she told him that she can no longer help him, she meant every word of it. She tried to make him see reason and facts but he refused to look at it. He did not even want to hear it. He’s so blinded by his blind faith on Diana that he just refused everything she told him. She had never received that kind of faith from him. Whenever there is a theory she’s formulating, he had always asked her to back it up with something substantial, something of hard evidence but when it comes to Diana, he does not need any of that. Her words are enough. She, on the other hand, had followed him to the ends of the world with nothing but a blind faith. He has no concrete evidence of his science fiction ideas but she followed him anyway because she believed in his passion and his quest. She searched for the evidence to back up his theories, if not, make sense to the phenomenon. 

She can no longer settle for less. She had done already for years and she had enough of it. Now, sitting in Kersh’s office, a new opportunity had been presented to her. She had been presented with opportunities before, which she declined repeatedly for Mulder. It’s not going to be one of those times.

“You understand, Agent Scully that this assignment will be extremely dangerous and all your records will be deleted from the system to protect your cover. If ever you needed a backup, it may not arrive on time”, Kersh said.

“Danger is what I signed up for when I joined the bureau, sir. I understand it completely”, she said.

“Well, pack up your things, Agent Scully. You start tomorrow”, Kersh said.

\------------------------------

Mulder just got back from a case he worked on with Diana. He had expected to find Scully at the basement but she’s not there. He had tried calling her in the hope of making amends on how he treated her before he left. He knows he has not been fair to her. She’s only trying to help and protect him. The Gunmen had given him a hard time for his attitude that night and they gave him the cold treatment. He said his apology to the boys but they dismissed it saying it’s Scully he should be apologizing to and they’re right. The only problem is that he cannot reach her. Perhaps, she’s on another assignment. He’s been gone two weeks and Skinner may have assigned her to work on something else.

He went in Skinner’s office to know the details. He just wants to talk to Scully and if she’s on a case, he would like to know how long before she gets back.

“Do you know where Scully is?” he asked.

“I believe she’s on an assignment, Agent Mulder”, Skinner answered uncomfortably, and Mulder saw it.

“What is it? Did something happen to Scully? Where is she?” Mulder fired one by one.

Skinner sighed and put his pen down.

“Agent Scully had been reassigned. The details of her assignment is classified. I don’t know where she is because I am not authorized to know so no, I don’t know where she is”, he answered.

Skinner not knowing where she’s been reassigned and not having an authorization to know? That is fishy enough to send Mulder into panic. Is it one of their plans to separate them? They have tried before but their previous methods were more brutal than reassignment unless the assignment is dangerous enough for her to do alone. They are dividing them.

“Who reassigned her?” he then asked.

“Deputy Director Kersh”, Skinner answered.

\------------------------------

Mulder bursts into Kersh’s office with fire in his eyes and fueled anger in his chest. The man had tried to pin them both down again and again and he’s just been gone for two weeks, he took the opportunity to take Scully away from him.

“Where is she? Where did you send her?” he asked, not bothering to use any courtesy title.

Kersh sighed and leaned back.

“Welcome back, Agent Mulder. How did the case go?” his boss asked casually.

“I’m not here to talk about that. Where is Agent Scully?” Mulder repeated.

“She’s on assignment”, Kersh answered.

“Where? What kind of assignment?” he asked again.

“Confidential, Agent Mulder”, Kersh answered.

“Confidential enough that even A.D. Skinner does not know where she is? I am not recruited yesterday”, Mulder snapped.

Kersh smiled and chuckled a little while shaking his head.

“Why? What’s so funny?” Mulder asked.

The man has the nerves to laugh at him when he’s worried to death.

“Agent Scully had informed me in advance that you will react this way and she’s right. The woman is too good for you, Agent Mulder. I have no idea how she lasted six years with you but I guess it’s more of a testament to her resolve than your company”, he pulled out an envelope and tossed it on the table, “She wrote this and asked me to give it to you when you come down here and started ranting about conspiracy and other ridiculous ideas of yours”, he answered.

Mulder frowned but took the envelope and decided to open it in his office at the basement where no one else will be able to see what Scully wrote in it. It’s sealed so Kersh does not know.

\-------------------------------

Dear Mulder,

By the time you read this, I will be long gone. Rest assured I am not dead or dying. I have been given an assignment that is just as important as the X Files. Believe me when I say I wouldn’t want to leave the X Files but I know that it will not go down because it still has you. You will not be alone either because you have Agent Fowley. I would be lying if I said that I am not hurt by your disregard of my opinion about her but I realized that it is your life and it is your decision who you want to put your trust on. I have come to terms of respecting that and so I am doing that right now. I am trusting that you know what you’re doing. It had made my decision to accept this new assignment easier knowing that you have someone by your side you can trust completely without question. Putting my suspicions aside, I think you two will be a great team. You think alike and she will never question your theories. She will support it and help you prove it.

As for me, you don’t need to worry anymore. I am completely satisfied in my choice to accept this new chapter in my life. Thank you for the last six years and the partnership we built over the years. You have taught me not only to have an open mind and to open to the possibilities that is beyond the realm of science but you also pushed me beyond my limits or what I thought my limits are. I will forever cherish our partnership and I wish you all the best with your search for the truth.

Take care of yourself, Mulder. 

Love,

Dana

\------------------------------

He almost sunk into his seat. She’s gone. There is no doubt she wrote that letter. He knows her handwriting down to the T. He knows her signature, even the way she formed her sentences. He disregarded her, ditched her, disrespected her professional opinion and ruined their partnership and now she accepted a new assignment away from him, away from the danger he had put her into.

Perhaps, he deserved it. He had caused this. He pushed her away. She had saved herself from him but there’s a part of him who wants to make sure that she really saved herself and not thrown herself in more danger. It’s a confidential assignment. If Skinner himself is not authorized to know the details, there is no way he will. There is only one way he can check.

“Good for her”, Frohike snapped. “I am going to miss her but it’s good for her to get away from you”, he added.

“Yeah, she never deserved to be treated like that”, Byers agreed.

“I know. I know. I am not here to convince her to get back. I just want to make sure that Kersh did not send her to an insane assignment. I want to know she’s safe and doing well”, Mulder explained.

As much as he wants to get her back, if she wishes to be away, he will respect it. It is his punishment. A life without Scully.

“Alright, give us time…there has to be something in the FBI system”, Langly said.

Mulder waited for the boys to do their magic but it’s taking them painfully long which is unlikely considering their skills in hacking.

“Guys, what’s happening?” he finally asked after two hours of waiting.

“I don’t know what to say, Mulder. There’s nothing”, Langly answered.

“What?” he asked again taking a few steps towards them to look at the computer monitor.

“Nothing. There is no file of Scully in the FBI records even her basic file. There’s nothing. It’s like she did not exist as an agent”, Byers answered.

That could not be possible, Mulder thought. There has to be a file for her because she’s been recruited by the FBI. She taught at the academy and she had worked with him for the last six years.

“I also checked other records for her, just so you know, to be thorough…there is no record of Dana Katherine Scully anywhere”, Frohike finally said.

That clicked something in Mulder’s brain. He finally understood why Skinner got no clue about Scully’s assignment and why Kersh was tight-lipped about it. Scully has been sent to work in some undercover assignment. They had erased her records, her identity in order to protect her cover. It’s also why she wrote him a letter. She would be gone for some time. 

“Mulder?” Byers asked, worried about his silence.

“You will not find her because they made sure no one will, not at least in that name”, he answered in defeat.

“Are you saying that the FBI sent Scully to go undercover?” Frohike asked and Mulder’s silence is enough to answer his question.

It is dangerous. That is for sure. Mulder wanted nothing more than to march to wherever she is and get her out but he also knows that Scully has been told of all the facts involving that kind of assignment and she accepted it nonetheless. She wanted that assignment. There is a part of him that knew she wouldn’t want to go back to teaching, not after having a taste of what it’s like to be on the field. Being in a classroom will be boring for her and Scully does not like being bored. The X File kept her on her toes and had put her life in danger more than once. It would take a hell lot to get to that level and an undercover assignment might be just that for her.

He tried calling her cell hoping that she might have saved it so she can have some connection to herself while on the job but the line is dead. She had cut off any communication possible. He even tried calling her mother but she just told him that Scully had said goodbye and assured her that she would be fine. He wants to believe that she will be but there would be no way of knowing because it is his fault. He pushed her away and now she’s gone.


	2. The Assignment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the timeline here is all screwed up so i'm gonna save you some headache ahead of time. Since the first chapter took place in season 6 and Scully left, it scratched season 7 to 9 in the process as well as IWTB. I want to bring it a bit closer to Hannibal's timeline since Bedelia is middle aged woman so this chapter is ten years later. Probably, Scully's age around or after IWTB but with blonde hair. It is a bit tricky but this is just me playing around...

TEN YEARS LATER

“Fox! Are you ready?” Diana called from the hallway.

It’s almost nine and they are late for the meeting with Skinner and Kersh upstairs. Mulder woke up at the wrong side of the bed, yet again, and is not up to attending a meeting but Skinner insisted for him to be there and out of respect for his friend, he reluctantly agreed. He knows it’s going to be another case. He’s tired of cases.

Ever since Scully left, the cases he had worked on is either ordinary or lead to nowhere. He knows there are forces at work about that. They don’t want him to go anywhere so he let them. What is there to search for? He knew his sister is already dead. Smoking Man is also dead. The Syndicate is dead although he has a strong theory that they’re just replaced with new men to form their own Syndicate but he’s too tired to pursue it. There is something lacking. Diana is a good partner. She supports him and that is the problem. She agrees with everything he says. Even if he does not want to admit it, he misses Scully and her scientific approach to everything. She questioned his every theory which pushed him to work hard to prove her right while she strived to prove him wrong and give a rational explanation to his theories.

When they got to Kersh’s office, he felt a wave of tension. Kersh is looking at him warily and he does not know why.

“Agent Mulder, Agent Fowley…have a seat”, Kersh began and they both obeyed. “I called you here today because of a rising case in Baltimore, Maryland. There has been series of murders and our field office in the area is not handling it well”, he added.

“Murders…you should have called in VCU and not us”, Mulder snapped.

“You’re called because it’s not your ordinary murder case, Agent Mulder”, Skinner snapped back.

Kersh handed them a file which Diana took when she realized that Mulder is not going to. He peeked when she opened the file and saw pictures of bodies disfigured to project an image of either art form or religious symbols. The work is very sophisticated, not rushed. It is a well-thought of crime and Mulder can immediately agree that it’s not any other murder crimes out there. He can see why Kersh and Skinner would thought that the X Files should be the one to handle it. There are plenty of elements he can throw in with it. It could satanic cult, an offering, a ritual…

“Well, that is something”, he muttered.

They all began to see his growing interest on the case and that pleased Skinner. He had been looking out for him ever since Scully left. He knows that he has been depressed although Mulder has been too proud to admit it. He can see the signs. Diana is also in denial of it. She stuck by him, tried to fill in the void Scully left but she just can’t. Sometimes Skinner thinks she’s some sort of a martyr. It is obvious that Mulder does not love her but she stayed for him. He felt for her even though he knows she’s the wedge that came between Mulder and Scully.

“Glad you saw its potential because I am shipping the two of you to Baltimore today. Plane tickets are already in that folder. I expect a thorough report when you get back”, Kersh said.

Mulder did not protest. He’s somehow eager to work on it because it’s the most interesting case he got by far in ten years. He wants to make his brain works. Diana felt at ease when she saw his enthusiasm renewed. She knows she will never be Scully but she tried to look after him, to take care of him when he’s too depressed to do it himself.

“Are you driving or am I?” she asked.

“Oh, I am driving”, he answered.

\-------------------------------

BALTIMORE, MARYLAND

At the FBI Field Office, Mulder and Diana were greeted by Special Agent Jack Crawford. He had given them a quick tour at the building while discussing the details about the case. The more Jack informed them about the murders, the more Mulder became curious and intrigued.

“This is Will Graham, he is our profiler”, Jack introduced Will to Mulder and Diana.

“Special Agent Diana Fowley”, Diana said.

“Special Agent Fox Mulder and a fellow profiler once upon a time”, Mulder said.

Will and Jack chuckled at him. 

“Well, I hope that you can help us with this cases, Agent Mulder. I must admit, it’s pretty draining”, Will said.

Mulder can sympathize. It is why he stopped being a profiler. To dwell into the mind of evil every single day, it is enough for a sane man to go insane and he can see that it’s taking a toll on Will.

“We’ll do our best”, Mulder said.

“So, where should we start?” Diana asked.

“Glad you asked. We’re coming to see Dr. Hannibal Lecter. He’s a forensic psychiatrist and he’s been helping our office with our cases. He’s recently been attacked in his own office after someone else had come in and attacked his patient, killing him in the process. He was forced to defend himself and the attacker was killed. The last victim Henry Shaw was a former patient of his and we just got a court order to get his findings and views of Mr. Shaw”, Jack answered.

“Let’s go”, Mulder said.

\-----------------------------

DR. LECTER’S RESIDENCE

Jack Crawford knocked on the door of Hannibal’s office four times. Mulder looked at them with a slight fascination. He wonders how Hannibal would react when he sees four FBI agents standing at his doorsteps. Most people would be overwhelmed. Finally, the door was opened by a man in a very, very expensive suit. Mulder knows that because he recognized the tailoring. He is a man who comes from wealth as well so he knows an expensive suit when he sees one.

“Dr. Lecter, sorry to come in unannounced. We just want to ask you a few questions if it’s a good time”, Jack said politely.

“Of course, come in”, they all stepped inside as Hannibal walked inside his spacious office. “Excuse my state of appearance, you rather caught me in the middle of a session”, he said.

“I thought you’re taking a step back from practice for a few days”, Will intervened.

“That is right”, Hannibal replied and gestured towards a blonde woman who has her back turn on them. “Bedelia”, he called.

The woman put down her notebook on the table and turned around to face them and Mulder’s jaw almost hit the floor when he saw her. 

It can’t be, he thought. 

Scully, he almost uttered.

He is certain that it’s her but everything else is different about her. Her hair, for one, is different. It’s icy blonde and not fiery red anymore. Her eyes are cold and calculating that he felt chills down his spine. Her face is expressionless and the way she moved is also different than he remembered.

“My apologies, I was just taking down notes. Dr. Bedelia Du Maurier. I’m Dr. Hannibal Lecter’s psychiatrist”, she introduced herself without blinking an eye.

Mulder remained silent.

“Special Agent Jack Crawford from the FBI. This is Will Graham, and we got Special Agent Fox Mulder and Special Agent Diana Fowley all the way from D.C. to help out with this case”, Jack said and Scully took their hands one by one until she reached Diana and Mulder.

Diana took the first move and shook her hand but kept a close eye. Scully kept her face blank which threw Diana off guard. She expected a bit of reaction but she got nothing. When it’s Mulder’s turn, he was just frozen.

“Are you alright, Agent Mulder? You looked rather pale”, she commented in a monotonous voice.

He knows she’s been labeled as Ice Queen at the Hoover Building but she’s never this cold. It’s been ten years but is it possible for that many change to take place? It’s like she’s a different person.

“Oh, just the long drive. Pleasure to meet you, Dr. Du Maurier”, he managed to respond.

Scully just nodded and turned to Jack and Will like she does not know him at all.

“Sorry to disturb your session. We did not know you’re conducting your practice at your patient’s house”, Jack apologized.

“Oh, I don’t usually. This is a special case. We’re here to help him deal with what happened. Some sort of exercise”, she turned to Hannibal and he smiled at her. “…but our hour is over and I have some matters to attend to. Dr. Lecter is all yours”, she explained.

She is a psychiatrist now. Mulder couldn’t wrap his head around that. Actually, he cannot wrap his head in anything at the moment. He has not seen or heard from Scully in ten years. For a few years, he kept bugging Kersh and Skinner about her whereabouts but he got nothing and then he stopped asking. He just sulked around and let himself drown with sadness and next thing he knew, it’s been ten years. Has she been in Baltimore all these years? There are so many questions he wanted to ask her but it seems like she’s still undercover because she’s not using her real name so he kept it shut. He does not want to blow everything up for her. He wouldn’t put her in danger, not again.

“Please, take my car. I would hate it if you are forced to call a cab. I can come by tomorrow to get it back”, Hannibal said to her.

Mulder watched them closely. There is something off with the way they looked at each other. He cannot explain it but it does not feel good.

“I will not refuse your offer. Thank you”, she took the key and turned to them. “I will see myself out. It’s nice meeting all of you”, she said and left.

He watched her walk away until she closed the door. She did not even turn back for him. She did not look at him or acknowledge him. It hurts a bit but he hid it and refocused on doing his job. They’re there to talk to Hannibal about his patient and that’s what he’s going to do.

\------------------------------

HOTEL

Mulder paced back and forth inside his hotel room. He is trying to process what just happened in the last twenty-four hours. Scully is in Baltimore. He saw her. She’s fine or at least she looks like it. The urge to talk to her is overwhelming. He wants to know how she’s been doing all this time. He wants to tell her a lot of things starting off with an apology. He wants to tell her that he misses her every day. Where to start?

“Do you know about this?” Mulder asked when he called Skinner.

“What am I supposed to know, Mulder?” Skinner asked him back.

“Scully…she’s here in Baltimore. She’s a psychiatrist now and she’s treating the psychiatrist of one of the murder victims. Care to tell me what’s going on here?” Mulder answered.

There is a pause on the other line.

“I don’t know that Scully will be there. I don’t know where she’s been for ten years, Mulder. Kersh wouldn’t tell me anything. If she’s there and she’s still living undercover, you have to assume that whoever is her connection to the case is a possible suspect. Otherwise, why would she be there in the first place?” Skinner said.

Mulder knows he has a point. If that’s true, Hannibal Lecter can be their guy. He will have a hard time proving that, of course, given the fact he’s a well-distinguished doctor and highly regarded by the FBI in Baltimore. Scully being stuck to being his psychiatrist is a strong indication that it’s difficult to prove Hannibal’s involvement with the murders.

“I need to talk to her”, he then said.

“Are you crazy? Scully is working undercover. If you blow that up, you’re going to destroy probably years of her work”, Skinner protested.

“Don’t worry, bald man. I am not going to botch her cover. Oh, and don’t tell Kersh about it. It’s time to get reacquainted with my partner”, Mulder said.


	3. Person Suit

BEDELIA’S HOUSE

Mulder rang the doorbell patiently. He does not know how this will turn out but he wants to talk to her. He is desperate. She has to be home because her car is parked outside or at least he assumed that it was hers or whatever name’s she’s using at the moment.

“Agent Mulder? How can I help you?” Scully asked when she answered the door.

He gathered himself at the sight of her. He’s there on a mission.

“Yes, I was hoping we can talk. I know I should have made an appointment first”, he answered.

Scully opened the door wider for him to come in and he did. The house looks luxurious. He wonders if the FBI provided the house for her and if she had bought it for herself. She walked with him and ushered him to the living room where there are two couches waiting. It’s where she’s seeing her patients.

“I should tell you that I have retired as a psychiatrist”, she said as she took her seat.

Mulder followed along and sat across from her.

“You have patient, Dr. Lecter”, he argued, playing along with her.

Are there cameras in the house? Are they being listened to? Why isn’t she dropping the act in front of him?

“Dr. Lecter is quite tenacious. He is a colleague and he asked for a favor so I made the exception but I don’t intend to go back to practice like I used to”, she explained.

How long has she been there? 

“Alright…I can’t keep this up. It’s me. Will you please talk to me?” he gave up.

Putting up an act is not his forte. He cannot go along with her while she talks like someone else. It felt wrong.

“I am talking to you…Mulder”, she said.

She called him Mulder, no titles, just Mulder.

“It’s been ten years. I haven’t seen you in ten years, Scully”, he muttered.

She shifted her legs but her face remained emotionless.

“It has been”, she agreed and leaned back her chair. “Is that why you came here? I believe you have a case to work on”, she asked.

“That too…I want to talk to you. To be honest, I did not expect to see you here. They did not tell me anything. Not even Skinner knows where you were. How long have you been here in Baltimore?” Mulder asked.

“Mulder, I cannot discuss my assignment with you and I believe you already know that. It is a surprise they called for help at Washington but it’s understandable. To answer your question, four years. I had been here in Baltimore for four years. Other than that, I can’t tell you anything”, she answered.

Four years…Baltimore is close. She could have called. She could have sent a mail or e-mail…anything. 

“Scully, I want to say I’m sorry”, sorry for everything, for being a jackass, for being inconsiderate, for being the worst partner, “I treated you wrong and I want to ask for your forgiveness”, he continued.

There is much he wants to say but he found it hard to let out because she’s too disengaged. He felt awkward being around her.

“It’s alright”, he raised an eyebrow. “Past is past”, she added.

This is classic Scully. She’s shutting him out and she’s doing a hell of a job with it.

“Don’t do this, Scully. I know you’re mad at me and you have every right to be. You can call me names, yell at me. You can even hit me. Just please talk to me, really talk to me”, he pleaded.

Scully kept everything neutral. If he had not known any better, he would believe her being the Ice Queen.

“Don’t make it personal, Mulder. We’re at work here. I suggest you pull yourself together and do what you came here for”, she responded.

He felt a stab on his chest. The way she said is neutral, detached, but it hit him hard like a knife piercing through his heart. He did say that to her. It was their last conversation before he went with Diana to follow a lead. He told her not to make it personal. She was with the Gunmen and she worked hard to give him evidence to not trust Diana and he told her that. Now, she said it back and he got a taste of what she had felt back then and it stings.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s unprofessional of me to come here like this, risking blowing up your cover. I just thought I could talk to my partner again”, he apologized.

“In the last ten years, I learned that every person wears a person suit. It only differs on how well-tailored their person suits are but nevertheless, everyone wears one. I have met people who got very well-tailored person suits and they tend to have a habit of crossing lines knowing that no one will be able to cross theirs due to their armors. Your person suit is wearing out and other people can see it, Mulder. If you do not repair it, they will find it too easy to cross the line and see the real you, know everything about you which they can use against you. Stop letting them see you, Mulder. Stay behind the veil and keep them out before they destroy you”, she said.

He stared at her in awe. She is good, he thought. He is not sure if she’s giving him a hint or she’s therapizing him since he’s on her couch but he’ll take it.

“Thank you”, he muttered.

“You’re welcome”, she said as she gets up.

He noticed that she’s well-dressed for someone who stays at home. The Scully he knew back then settled for more comfy clothes than tight-fitted dresses and high heels. 

“I guess I would see you around”, he said when they reached the door.

“Well, the next time we do, it won’t be for free and I strongly suggest for you to make an appointment. Otherwise, I advised for you to not come”, she replied.

\-------------------------------

He pondered over her words about person suits all day. He and Diana had been reviewing the files of the case again and again. It is a lot to process. They had named the killer as the Ripper. It struck fear to the people and fear is a powerful tool. The murders go back three years prior and it came to a halt for a year before it began again. Now, the suspect has evolved to a young girl named Abigail Hobbs and someone named Abel Gideon. It is all complicated and mixed up. Jack’s suspects are a young girl who he believed to have helped her father in his murders and someone who had been locked up in an asylum and escaped and openly took credits for the Ripper’s murders.

“Person suits”, he muttered.

“What is it?” Diana asked.

“We are all getting spoon-fed, don’t you think? Abigail is conveniently considered as an accessory to her father’s crimes just because she’s his daughter. We then have Abel Gideon who had been locked up in an institution for years claiming to be the Ripper. I don’t know, Diana. It felt like it’s being served for us to eat”, he answered.

“So you don’t think Abigail Hobbs helped his father kill those girls and you don’t think Abel Gideon is the Ripper?” she asked again.

“It is hard to prove about Abigail Hobbs innocence but I am hundred percent sure the Ripper is not Abel Gideon”, he answered.

The work is too meticulous, too precise, to be done by someone like Abel Gideon. He is an intellectual being. There’s no doubt but Mulder doubts he has to patience and the stomach to carve people like that. He lacks passion, so to speak.

“Agent Mulder? Can I borrow you for a moment?” Jack asked while sticking his head by the door.

“It’s fine. I’ll continue reading these”, Diana said to him.

Mulder went outside to Jack who looks extremely worried.

“What is it?” Mulder asked.

“I need your assistance. I got enough evidence to put Abigail Hobbs behind bars but I don’t think I can count on Will and Dr. Lecter to back me up on my assessment. I need another point of view and since you were a profiler, I was hoping you can help me”, Jack answered.

“What’s wrong with Mr. Graham and Dr. Lecter?” he asked again.

“Dr. Lecter is treating Abigail and Will has grown attached to her. Their judgment might be clouded, especially Will. He’s a little fragile when it comes to this stuff. I had asked him for a favor to look into it and I shouldn’t have. Anyway, you’re not from here so you will not be biased in your assessment”, Jack answered.

Mulder already sensed Will’s fragility when they met and he can understand why Jack is hesitant to use his help.

“Alright…you got it. What do you want me to do?” he agreed.

Jack smiled from ear to ear.

“Well, we got to pay someone a visit”, he said.

\-------------------------------

BEDELIA’S HOUSE

Mulder once again found himself in front of Scully’s house or Bedelia’s house. Jack told him that he needs anything she can give him about Dr. Lecter’s stand when it comes to Will and Abigail. When she opened the door, she’s already wearing a different color of blouse. Mulder noticed. Scully raised an eyebrow a bit before letting them in. 

They followed her all the way to her kitchen allowing him the view of the ground floor of her house. It’s more spacious than he thought and he’s certain now that the FBI was not the one who provided her with it.

“Do you have a court order, Agent Crawford?” she asked as they went in the kitchen.

“No, ma’am”, he answered.

She turned to them with that calculating look.

“So this is not an official inquiry”, she concluded and proceeded to pouring herself a drink.

“I wouldn’t want to damage anyone’s reputation”, Jack commented.

“…and whose reputation would that be?” she asked.

“I came here to talk about Dr. Lecter”, Jack said.

Mulder noticed the way she stopped pouring her drink and her sudden gaze on Jack. She quickly recovered and masked it with offering Jack a drink as well.

“I want to talk about Dr. Lecter’s relationship with his patients, specifically Will Graham”, Jack clarified.

Mulder did not know that Will is also a patient of Hannibal but he did not say a word. He remained a spectator of the show.

“Agent Crawford, without consent from the patient or a court order, I will in breach of confidentiality”, she said.

Jack smiled, expecting the answer.

“Well then, let’s talk about you”, she shot him a look, “You were attacked once by your patient and that patient died. Dr. Lecter gave a statement to the police”, he mentioned.

Mulder frowned. She was attacked? What the hell is going on?

“He had a seizure and swallowed his tongue. It’s the only thing that saved my life”, Scully explained and followed it with a sip of her wine.

“You already know that Dr. Lecter was also attacked and his patient died along with the attacker”, Jack pitched in which earned him a smirk from her.

“That’s not bad psychology, Agent Crawford, putting me in a position to whether defend or not Dr. Lecter”, he smirked back. “All I can tell you is that Dr. Lecter cares about his patients and for Will Graham. He considers him his friend and he wants to help him”, she said.

“I consider Will as my friend and I want to help him”, Jack rebutted.

“I believe it will do Will Graham good if he has more friends like Dr. Lecter”, she replied coldly.

Mulder caught the underlying message of it in which informing Jack of his fault in getting Will involve in the case. A subtle cold jibe by Scully and yet it hurts.


	4. What The Hell Happened To You?

Jack exited her house but Mulder stayed and waited until Jack is out of ear sight. Scully put her glass at the sink and acted so casually.

“That’s a little low, don’t you think?” he asked.

“What is, Agent Mulder?” she asked him back.

“What you said to Agent Crawford…it’s not entirely his fault. He’s deeply concern about Mr. Graham”, he answered.

She turned to him and an amused expression on her face.

“…and here I thought you listened to what I said to you earlier. You dare to care so much, Mulder. Be careful. You’re getting attached”, she warned.

“It is what we do. You do it as well. We help people”, Mulder argued.

Her face went neutral.

“What would you do if you find an injured bird on the side of the road, Mulder?” she asked.

“I would like to help it”, Mulder quickly answered.

It is the right answer. The question is pretty basic and he’s not sure where Scully is going with it.

“Yes, help it, of course. I want that too but I also want to crush it”, he swallowed at her response, “It’s the primal rejection of weakness and as natural as the nurturing side of our nature. Of course, I wouldn’t crush it but my first instinct is to do just that. Will Graham is that bird. You want to help him and Agent Crawford wants to help him as well. Will has been that bird before Agent Crawford approached him and in his desire to help, he put Will into more suffering rather than putting him out of his misery and leaving him be. Your compassion drives you to go to certain extent to help Will Graham which may not be fruitful considering the circumstances. My advise to you, Agent Mulder, next time you see an injured bird on the side of the road, instead of helping it, you should consider crushing it instead. It might save you a great deal of trouble”, she explained.

He cannot believe that she just said to him. It’s not what the Scully he knew would say. Scully would help him with everything she got. She’s as compassionate as he is, even more so. Talking about crushing the bird is so unlike her.

“What the hell happened to you, Scully?” he blurted out to which she did not respond.

\-------------------------------

FOUR YEARS AGO

Six years into undercover assignments got Scully all weary. It gives her the thrill she needs to get out of bed in the morning. There is not left for her personal life. She got no friends, no family nearby, no personal relationships. To be honest, she does not need it since she lives by different names and backgrounds every six months or year. She had gotten used to living in another person’s body that allows her to escape her own reality: someone who has blurred future.

She does her best sending her mother cards and e-mails from time to time to let her know that she’s okay. It’s not regular but she takes her chance whenever she can get. It is not safe to contact her mother but she does it anyway. There were days when she thinks about the X Files and Mulder. She thinks about what they could have accomplished if she stayed but each time her brain went in that direction, she gets reminded by why she accepted the job in the first place. Mulder no longer needs her. He got himself a new partner, one that does not question his every move, one that supports him without a doubt or calling his theories crazy. They wouldn’t accomplish anything because she’s just getting in the way of Mulder and his quest. 

Six years had past, and a new job landed on her lap. It took her two years to finish the last one in England but she was successful. Actually, she’s always successful. She’s that good at pretending to be someone else that she always get her guy. Her superiors are so impressed by her records that they offered her to be a permanent a field undercover agent and she accepted. It is a good distraction for her. She’s on the job 24/7 which allowed her no luxury of crying over her real life.

Being a medical doctor, it was quick for her to dive into Bedelia Du Maurier’s world as a psychiatrist. She did few years studying it back in med school anyway so it wouldn’t be hard for her. The Ripper’s case dates back years ago and no one has caught him. After a new break caught the attention of the bureau, they assigned her at Baltimore which seems to be the center of the newly committed crimes. Her job is to identify who is the real Ripper and nail him.

Scully fell in love with the place when she first arrived and she did something impulsive for the first time in six years. She bought a mansion in the middle of nowhere. Money is not a problem for her since the FBI provided for her for the last six years and she got no time to spend her earnings. She had saved a lot. She began establishing Bedelia’s persona by putting up her wardrobe, the aesthetic of the house, how her therapy room would look and feel like. In less than a month, she’s already accepting patients. 

The goal at first is to attract the Ripper’s attention. She puts herself out there, going out for coffee, running errands, doing grocery shopping. She’s getting comfortable in living as Bedelia when she crossed path with Hannibal Lecter at a colleague’s dinner party.

“Good evening, forgive my intrusion. I couldn’t help but notice you standing here by yourself. I wanted to introduce myself. I’m Dr. Hannibal Lecter”, he said offering his hand.

Scully eyed the man but accepted his hand.

“Dr. Bedelia Du Maurier…I appreciate the concern but I am doing just fine by myself, Dr. Lecter”, she responded.

“Of course, I understand the need for solace and peace. Gatherings like this can be a little overwhelming. This is the first time I have seen you, Dr. Du Maurier. Are you from around here?” he asked curiously.

Too interested, she thought. He is curious but he’s so good at masking it. She decides to play along without tripping over the line.

“No. I just moved here. I used to practice in California but I desired a change of scenery so I came here to Baltimore. What about you, Dr. Lecter? Have you always been here?” she answered then asked him back.

He did not take his eyes off of her and she held them quite well. In every way, she is a perfect match for him and she can immediately feel the tension in the air. It is so thick, anyone can cut it with a bread knife.

“I came here to practice psychiatry. Never left ever since”, he answered plainly but Scully was able to read between the words.

He intrigues her more than sexual sense. The way he carries himself, his carefully chosen words, and his confidence begged Scully to want to know him more. Of course, it is not vague to her that the man is attractive. The fact that he’s also a doctor makes him more attractive which is a fatal combination for her.

She intrigues him due to her mysteriousness. He does not know anything about her and she’s the only person in the room who can stand her ground in his presence without blinking an eye and she does it with class. In fact, she’s overflowing with it. He can tell that she takes pride in her intellect and she should. He felt attracted to her like a moth to a flame. He is curious and he wants to know more.

“Well, it is a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Lecter. It’s getting late and I have an early appointment for tomorrow”, she said cutting off the building tension and started walking away.

“Dr. Du Maurier”, she stopped and turned around. “Perhaps I can indulge you for a cup of coffee some time? I would love to pick your brains about psychiatric field”, he asked.

She should say no. She is not there to make flirtations with other doctors. She is there for an assignment but how long has it been since she entertained the idea?

Scully walked towards him and handed him her card. “Make sure to call first. I don’t like to be rushed”, she answered.

\-------------------------------

It took him three days before he called her and asked her out for a coffee. The conversation was bounding from professional to politics to favorite books and authors. Scully cannot recall when was the last time she had an easy conversation with anyone. She could think of another man but she did not dare going there. Hannibal is by far living up to her expectation. He is smart, confident, strong, and has an air of mystery in him as well as danger. She felt drawn and just like the tattoo on her back, she is once again attracted to a powerful man.

Two weeks had passed, and their daily meetings had been consistent. So far, she has not drawn any attention that could caused the Ripper to come after her. It’s a bit disappointing but it allowed her time to get to know Hannibal. 

One night, she allowed him to drive her back home after they watched a play together. They both shared fondness for art and science so the night has been great for the both of them. While on the road, someone tried to drive them off the road. Scully’s detective instinct is kicking in and she’s ready to reach for her gun at the compartment any time soon but Hannibal got out of the car. Two men approached them and one immediately dragged her out of the car with a gun pointed at her head. 

“Took us long enough to find you”, the man said to her.

Judging by his built, his demeanor and how he talked to her, he’s one of ‘them’. She tried to fight but a fist landed to her face which pushed her to the ground. Two glasses of wine from the theater did not help either. She had heard grunting and fighting. When she opened her eyes, she saw Hannibal beat the man with a rock until he’s unrecognizable.

“Bedelia? Can you get up?” Hannibal asked when he got to her side.

Her vision is blurry but other than that, she’s fine. She took his offered hand. He took her back to her house and attended to the cut on her lip.

“Have you called the police?” she asked.

“Do you want me to?” he asked instead.

She looked at him and saw him being serious. What does he know? Did he heard the man talk to her earlier? The image of him beating the man with a rock kept replaying in her head. There is a voice at the back of her head telling her the obvious but she’s having a hard time believing it. She set out to attract the Ripper, to flush him out. She made herself seen and available and Hannibal came along. She had seen the case files of the victims and she pondered for hours what it would took for the Ripper to perfect those crime scenes. It is given that the killer wouldn’t be any other killer. The Ripper has taste and patience. The Ripper has fondness with the art and the stomach to apply it to its victims.

Scully looked at Hannibal carefully and searched for any remorse or guilt in his eyes for killing those men at the road but there’s none. It wouldn’t be his first time taking someone’s life. First time is always hard. It should be hard. Hannibal is not displaying that. She swallowed a lump on her throat. How come she has not seen it at that dinner party?

“I don’t know what you mean”, she muttered.

“They were not random muggers, Bedelia. They obviously followed us and they obviously came after you”, too observant, he noticed it, “I wonder why”, he added.

Her cover is going to get blown by the probably the man she’s after. It will not sit well with Kersh and it might cost her her life. Why does she always get attracted with dangerous men? Daniel who was an absolute control freak and a married man. Ed Jerse who was a nice guy but was infected with a strong hallucinogen that tried to kill her. Even Sheriff Hartwell that she had a little crush on turned out to be a vampire. Mulder is not a dangerous man but his tendencies and impulsiveness in finding the truth is dangerous enough that puts her at risks more times than she can count. Now, she may have stumbled upon the Ripper himself and she had gone out with him for coffee every day and went to see a play.

“The past is never where you think you left it”, she muttered.

“Katherine Anne Porter”, Hannibal recalled.

“We move forward thinking we can start anew only to discover later on that we cannot. Past is like a shadow, following you down wherever you go”, she explained.

Hannibal studied her closely, she can feel his breathing on her skin.

“Shadow disappears when there’s no light. Stay in the dark and your shadow will never haunt you ever again”, he said which made her heart pounds.


	5. Can You Help Me?

PRESENT DAY

Hannibal is standing by her window when she walked in her living room. He turned around quickly when he heard the sound of her heels clicking on the floor. His brief smile eases somehow the weight on her chest. Bottling up, it’s what Dana Scully is good at. It’s what allows her to be successful in being an undercover agent. She can bottle up her real self and be someone else.

“Agent Jack Crawford and Agent Mulder came to see me here last night. Agent Crawford is asking about Will Graham”, she said.

An interest flickered in his eyes.

“What does he want to know?” he asked.

“He thinks Will’s protecting Abigail with regards to her association with her father’s crimes and evidently, he suspects you’re protecting Will”, she answered and looked at him with calculating eyes. “Are you?” she asked.

“Are you asking as my psychiatrist?” he asked her back.

She knows if she said yes, he will tell her what she needs to know. Hannibal respects their patient-psychiatrist relationship too much to lie. She cannot do that because it would unethical. Despite not being an actual psychiatrist, she is still a medical doctor.

“I am stepping out of my role as your psychiatrist and I am talking to you now as your colleague”, she noticed him relaxes, “Whatever you’re doing with Will Graham, stop”, she then said.

They have known each other for four years now. She knows how his mind works and for some time, she thought she had helped him overcome it but Will’s presence brought out something in him. Scully can already anticipate what Hannibal wants with him and she wants him to stop.

“I am protecting him from influence”, Hannibal reasoned.

…by influencing him yourself, she wants to say but she held it back.

“Agent Crawford also asked about my attack”, she mentioned and that made Hannibal stopped pacing.

That is still a sour subject for the both of them and she had forbid Hannibal from ever mentioning it in any of their sessions. It’s one of her condition in accepting him as her one and only patient.

“I see. What did you tell him?” he asked.

Lies…and more lies…

“Half-truths…that a violent patient died while he was attacking me. I did not tell him how or who was responsible”, she answered.

“You’re protecting your patient and yet I cannot protect mine? Will is my friend”, Hannibal argued.

Scully smiled.

“You cannot function as an agent of friendship for a man who’s disconnected from the concept, as a man who’s disconnected from the concept”, she said.

“You did ask for my help”, he reminded her.

“Seemed I did not have much of an option at the time. Will Graham still got tons. Stop flirting with the FBI, Hannibal. It’s the best advice I can give you”, she snapped.

\-----------------------------

TWO YEARS AGO

“Neal Frank…why is he different? Seems to me, his case is an easy one”, she said while talking in his office.

Hannibal had just called her to refer another patient to her care. He gave her his files and some recording of their sessions for her to study.

“Yes, but he is determined to resist the treatments I gave him. He thinks I am making him worse. I want to help him but I cannot do that if he is not taking my help. I thought maybe you can help him”, he explained.

Scully raised an eyebrow at him. She knows he is playing something else. There has not been a crime for four months which means Hannibal is cooking something up. After the attack at the road, he had grown more interested on her. She tried to pick her way into finding more that can link him to the Ripper or if he’s the Ripper but Hannibal is extremely careful. It does not help that he also wants to uncover her. Her bosses are being impatient about the progress of her assignment but they’re considerate enough to not rush her. She had informed Kersh about the attack on her personally and insisted that they’re not related to any of the case she handled as undercover agent. They’re from D.C. from the same people who she had dealt with while working on the X Files. Kersh had promised her that it will not happen again.

“Alright, I can see what I can do but I don’t know if I can have taken a different approach. I would only end up prescribing the same medication. The only thing I can do is try and make him receptive of the treatment”, she said.

…and so she did try. Neal Frank has a case of insomnia and paranoia. It should be an easy one if he’s not so stubborn about the treatment. He’s convinced that Hannibal had made him worse, that he did something to him. According to the files, Neal had resisted everything Hannibal attempted to use for his treatments. He did not take the medications and he had shown violent outbursts in front of him.

Scully did her best to help him understand the importance of the medication to help him sleep but he’s insisting on her doing something to punish Hannibal for what he ‘did’ to him. Her rational mind says it’s the paranoia in Neal Frank that’s talking. Something else is telling her differently. She had seen what’s Hannibal capable of. She had seen the other side of him and it won’t be a surprise if Neal was telling the truth but she’s too rational for that. She’s basing everything on the files Hannibal had given her.

“I would prescribe the same medication Dr. Lecter prescribed to you”, she answered when he asked what kind of treatment she plans for him.

Neal started freaking out once he realized she’s not calling anyone on Hannibal. It is the sole reason why Neal decided to see her. He wants her to put Hannibal in jail somehow for allegedly manipulating him.

“Of course, he would refer me to you. You’re just as twisted as he is!” he yelled.

She was taken aback by those words. Is she really? If Hannibal is indeed the Ripper, is she as twisted as the Ripper? She knows she had taken lives before but it’s always justified as self-defense or in the line of duty. She is an FBI agent and they’re authorized to use force if needed be.

“Mr. Frank, take your seat”, she instructed when he rose to his feet.

He did not listen. He kept yelling at her and she felt fear creeping in. She rose to her feet as well in order to feel a bit equal though he’s a lot taller than her.

“You’re in league with him! All of this is more games!” he kept saying.

“Please calm down, Mr. Frank”, she said but came to a halt when he pushed her down.

Scully landed on the floor hard, she felt her back complained. Neal hovered above her and they struggled for control. Neal found her neck and squeezed with both his hands.

“I am not going to let you and Dr. Lecter control my brain anymore. This is not going to be my life! I have to take control back for myself. You’re going to stop twisting everything!” he yelled as she tried to break free.

She is close to passing out when something happened. Neal began choking. She immediately backed off and crawled away from him while he got up and tried to breathe. Judging by the situation, she assessed that he’s having a seizure. He had mentioned it before. Neal fell on her glass table while having a hard time holding on for dear life. Her doctor side kicked in and she rushed to her side to help him. Neal resisted at first but he has no strength to keep on resisting. He is dying.

“I am trying to clear your airway”, she said.

It should be easy. She had encountered this type of seizing during her time at med school. Scully proceeded in trying to clear his airway but along the way, something snapped. The man she’s trying to help just tried to kill her few seconds ago. She was on the floor with him choking the life out of her. How many times did that happen before? How many times did men try to end her life just because they can? How many times she tried to help and it backfired so bad it almost cost her, her life? She is no saint and that much is clear. She does not want to be a saint. She is just done and tired of people trying to take advantage of her. She’s been violated way too many times before with or without her knowledge and she’s done with it. 

A newfound rage in her started boiling. Everything around her seemed to stop. She has the control. She has been manipulated before by men in power and she has been helpless. It’s time for her to take control back. 

‘Shadow disappears when there’s no light. Stay in the dark and your shadow will never haunt you ever again…’

Hannibal’s words rang clear in her ears and she pushed her arm down Neal’s throat and felt the surge of power coursed through her. Once she pulled her arm out, she fell on the floor alongside him.

‘The past is never where you think you left it…’

This will never leave her from now on. It will be her shadow wherever she goes. She gasped as if she had stopped breathing. The room around her resumed in her sight as she pushed herself up from the floor. Her arm is all bloody but it’s not her blood. Her mind reminded her of what she just did and she felt panic setting in. She just killed a patient of hers. He may have attacked her but he was defenseless when she killed him. It was not self-defense. It was murder. He was having a seizure and she shoved her arm down his throat.

“Bedelia”, Hannibal suddenly called.

Why is he there? When did he come in? Did he see what she just did? She got no time to ask nor the energy. She’s spent inside and out. Her breathing is rapid and if she keeps that up, she will most likely to pass out from hyperventilation.

“He attacked me”, she managed to say.

Hannibal inspected the scene. He saw the broken table, the blood coming from Neal’s mouth, Scully’s bloody arm.

“Is that your blood?” he asked gesturing to her arm to which she shook her head. “You weren’t defending yourself then. I see no evidence of recklessness. This is controlled use of force”, he said.

Her breathing hitched.

“He attacked me, Hannibal”, she let out a few sobs, “…choked me on my living room floor”, she added.

He went to her side and set her hair to the side so he can see her neck which bears fingerprints of Neal Frank on her skin.

“It is true but you got an arm coated with his blood and not yours. How did you manage that?” he asked.

“He had a seizure, I think”, she answered almost in a whisper, while realizing the severity of what she’s done. 

She knew he realized it too once she answered his question.

“I can help you tell the version of the story you want if you’ll ask me to”, he offered.

She turned to him and saw the same look he has given her that night after the attack. She is thinking of calling the cops and telling them what really happened but she already knows what that would look like. It’s murder. Kersh might be able to help her out but that will go on her record and the fact that Neal Frank is a patient with unstable mind, self-defense will not fly very high.

“Can you help me?” she asked in defeat.

Hannibal smiled at her and gently wiped the blood on her face as well as the tears falling from her eyes.

“Yes, I can. First, let’s get you cleaned up. They cannot find any trace of his blood on you. The marks on your neck will be enough of evidence to sway away their attention from looking at it as murder. He died having a seizure while he was attacking you. It saved your life”, he formulated.

Despite her hazy and confused mind, something clicked in.

“You seemed to have it all figured out. He kept saying how he’s being manipulated and controlled. I was wondering if this is something you have hoped to happen”, she muttered but let him take care of her.


	6. Confusion

PRESENT DAY

Scully found herself at Jack Crawford’s interrogation room. Hannibal had given her a consent form to talk about their session for Jack’s investigation. Will Graham had landed behind bars in a matter of days after he was accused of killing Abigail Hobbs. The evidence went further to recovering her ear in his stomach. This led the investigation to point everything to Will as being the Ripper. Now, Will had made allegations that it was not him but it was Hannibal. He said that Hannibal had put thoughts in his head, manipulated his brain. Will accused Hannibal of framing for the crimes he did not commit.

She knows Mulder and Diana are just behind the glass watching her. She kept her composure. It’s been years but the thought of them two together still hurts. After all, it’s what drove her to accept a job that will take her away from her former life.

“Dr. Du Maurier…to be honest, I don’t expect this at all”, Jack said as he sat across from her.

“Dr. Lecter granted me his consent. You sent for me and so I came so I would say this is all nothing but expected of you. What I did not expect is to be kept waiting in an interrogation room for almost an hour”, she said.

Jack smiled and nodded.

“My apologies…there are other people who want to hear what you have to say and this is the only room we can use to accommodate that”, he apologized.

Mulder and Diana, she thought.

“Very well…” she said allowing him to start.

“Dr. Lecter…Will Graham has accused him of planting thoughts in his head. He said that he’s been manipulating him during their therapy sessions. Is that possible?” he asked.

“Some psychiatrists have a hunger for insight that sometimes, they tend to manufacture it. Influence, Agent Crawford, is a powerful thing. Imagine what a few words can do to a patient who desperately believes them”, she answered.

Jack shifted in his chair.

“Is Dr. Lecter influencing Will Graham?” he asked again.

“I wouldn’t know about that because I was not present in their session. From what Dr. Lecter has told me, he wants to protect Mr. Graham from influence”, she tapped on the table three times, “Influence works best if the person is unaware, Agent Crawford. Will Graham is completely aware. What does that make him?” she asked.

Jack sighed. Scully can see the turmoil and guilt in Jack. He brought Will into the situation and despite his desperation to find the Ripper, he couldn’t bring himself to believe that it was Will. 

“Dr. Lecter tends to have complicated relationships with his patients”, Jack muttered which made Scully smile.

“Complicated patients are conducive to complicated relationships”, she profound.

“Alright, stop the psychiatric talk”, Scully shot him a look, “You were attacked by a patient of Dr. Lecter whom he referred to you. That patient died and Dr. Lecter gave a statement supporting your claim that it was self-defense. Franklyn Froideveaux died under his care, in his office, after a supposed friend of his patient came in to kill him. Now, Will Graham, a patient of Dr. Lecter, is being accused of murder of not only Abigal Hobbs but for being the Ripper. Aren’t you a bit suspicious about picture, Dr. Du Maurier?”

She kept calm and maintained a stoic face. 

“All of his patients were either killed or accused of committing a murder. Your patient, the one who attacked you, had previously accused Dr. Lecter of making him worse. Do you think Dr. Lecter is manipulating his patients and turning them into killers?” Jack asked.

The pattern is laid out for everyone to see. She is sure Mulder can clearly see it from behind the glass. He is watching her right now, waiting for her answer.

“No, Agent Crawford. I don’t think Dr. Lecter is doing whatever it is you’re accusing him of. The patient who attacked me was suffering from insomnia and paranoia. Dr. Lecter had given him the appropriate type of treatment when he was under his care but he refused it himself due to his paranoia that Dr. Lecter was not planning on curing him. When he was referred to me, I took the same course of treatment for him because it was what’s best for his condition but he still refused saying that it’s all part of the game. He then proceeded to attack me when he figured out I wouldn’t call the police on Dr. Lecter”,

She chose to leave more details after that as it will incriminate her and she got no intention to go to jail.

“As for Franklyn Froideveaux, the man had an obsession with Dr. Lecter as I was told during one of our sessions. Dr. Lecter was aware of it and did his best not to hurt his feelings. However, that certain attack was not initiated by either Dr. Lecter or Mr. Froideveaux. It was done by someone else who was not a patient of Dr. Lecter so I don’t think Dr. Lecter has a hand in that one. When it comes to Will Graham, we both know he’s already fragile when you brought him to the case. You knew it very well and yet you pushed him to keep digging to the darkness and somehow you’re here surprised to discover he had succumbed to it. Dr. Lecter tried to help him take control of his impulses and the toll of putting himself into the mind of a serial killer but you kept him going. Mr. Graham was not coerced or manipulated. He was completely aware and now you are. You cannot put the responsibility on other person because each of us has the intrinsic responsibility for our own lives. No one else can take that responsibility…not even you, Agent Crawford”, she answered.

\-------------------------------

SCULLY’S CAR

She is scouring her purse to get her phone when the door suddenly went open and Mulder went inside and locked it.

“Mulder? What are you doing?” she asked in surprise, dropping off her Bedelia façade for a moment.

Mulder stared at her and took the purse away from her hands and set it at the backseat so there’s nothing else that would distract her.

“You just lied to a federal officer”, he said casually but his tone is enough to let her know how serious he is.

“I am a federal officer, Mulder”, she reminded him.

“…but not here. You’re Dr. Bedelia Du Maurier right now and you lied to Agent Crawford about Dr. Lecter”, he said.

She knew he’ll be able to see it. Mulder can always tell whenever she’s lying or concealing anything from him. It’s his gift.

“What do you want from me, Mulder?” she asked in defeat.

Lying in front of Agent Crawford has already taken enough of her energy. She can only keep up the mask for so long before it cracks.

“I want to know why you’re protecting Dr. Lecter. I know that he is the Ripper”, he answered.

“You don’t have any evidence of that”, she countered.

“…but you have”, she halted, “You are certain that it’s him. I talked to Skinner who had a long talk with Kersh. You were sent here to catch The Ripper and you did find him but you did not report any of that to Kersh. After your attack, you stalled on your report. You are protecting him. Why?” he asked.

She looked at him for a while, holding his gaze for as long as she can, willing him to stop asking questions but Mulder will never stop asking questions. It’s his trait. He is always the one who asks the important questions.

“I don’t have concrete evidence, Mulder, but you’re right. I think it’s Dr. Lecter. Kersh will never accept just my word for it and I am still working on getting a hard evidence on him that will support my investigation and things are just…”

“…things are just what, Scully?” Mulder followed up.

“Things are complicated, Mulder”, she continued and sighed. “I wish I can tell you but I can’t. Our lives may have been in too much danger back in the day but it’s way simpler than what I got right now. All I can tell you is that I got to cover for Hannibal right now until I can get something substantial to put him away”, she added.

He is trying to read between her words but all he got is a sense of confusion and fear on her part. She is scared but she is masking it real good.

“Will Graham is in jail for murder of a young girl. He is being accused of killing numerous people. An innocent man is paying for crimes he did not commit. We got to apply a bit of morality here”, he mentioned.

She scoffed at that.

“I think my moral compass went out the window few years back”, he shot her a look of worry and fear, “You want to know something about Hannibal Lecter? He’s gravitated towards patients with tendency for violent behavior. He felt drawn to Will Graham the moment they met because Mr. Graham can dive to his state of mind by profiling the criminally insane. His very empathy makes him susceptible for darkness. Like I said back there, influence works best to a person who’s unaware. Will Graham is very much aware. Hannibal sees himself in Will. Being locked up at the moment is probably the best thing that can happen to him”, she said.

“You’re trying to get Will away from Dr. Lecter because you know what he’s trying to do with him. He’s influencing him to become a killer. You want to keep Will Graham behind bars to stop Dr. Lecter”, Mulder guessed and it’s a very good guess.

Scully leaned back on her chair and started the engine.

“Do what you came here to do, Mulder. I will not stop you. If you managed to get something that will incriminate him, great, you can put an end to my work. If not, stay out of my way and let me work my way to put him in jail”, she said to which Mulder nodded.

\-----------------------------

BEDELIA’S HOUSE

Scully arrived and went in her home. She is physical and mentally exhausted after that interrogation with Agent Crawford followed by her conversation with Mulder. All the lies and the truths are mixing up in her head and her priorities are all screwed up. Before Mulder showed up, she had completely abandoned her job to put down the Ripper. She got caught up in Hannibal’s world and she failed to get a good grip on reality. Worst, she did something that can bring her down and that very act is what’s preventing her from resuming her work as Dana Scully.

When she got in her bedroom, the water is running in her bathroom. No one is living with her there but someone is definitely using her bathroom. She took her gun and carefully walked in.

“What the hell are you doing?” she asked harshly with her gun pointed at a very naked and wet Hannibal.

She saw the blood on the bathroom floor being washed away to the drain. The sight of her with a gun put a smirk on Hannibal’s face. It excites him to see her armed and she can see how much that excites him. Like she said, he is gravitated towards people with tendency for violent behaviors. She certainly has that tendency. All her life, Scully had locked that side of her deep down. There were few times when her feral side resurfaced. It always ended up badly. Around Hannibal, she cannot bring herself to be behave. He brings out that dark side of her and like always, danger excites her. It has always excited her. It’s part of why she accepted FBI’s recruitment. Her life may have been in danger but that’s how she likes it.

“Well, I know it’s rude to use your bathroom without permission but may I ask for you to join me?” he asked.

Her breathing hitched. Her eyes couldn’t help but wander down his body and it made him smile even more. She wanted to curse herself, kick herself for being so weak but she’s only human and there’s a handsome, attractive, naked man in front of her asking her to join him in the shower.

Hannibal took her gun from her hands easily and set it aside. He pulled her to the water, soaking her wet as he held her at the back of her neck and brought her face closer to his.

“How would you like me to fuck you…Dana?” he asked in a dangerous whisper that made the heat in her body dropped.

She looked into his eyes and answered, “Hard”.


	7. Tell Me Your Name

TWO YEARS AGO

ABANDONED WAREHOUSE

Scully paced back and forth while impatiently waiting inside of an abandoned warehouse in the middle of nowhere. She is still shaken by what happened at her house with Neal Frank but her mind is telling her to do what’s right, to come clean. She cannot live with herself knowing that she had murdered a man as well as the way she did it.

“I told you to only contact me if it’s an emergency”, Kersh said when he came in the warehouse.

“It is. I want out”, she said in impulse.

“Agent Scully, your assignment is not yet finished. The Ripper is still out there and people are still dying”, Kersh reminded her.

Her hand itches for a cigarette just to ease the anxiety.

“I know that, sir, and I think I found him but I cannot stay here. Something happened and I am afraid it will blow my cover”, she explained.

He frowned and decided to listen.

“What happened, Agent Scully?” he asked.

“I killed my patient”, she answered honestly and then proceeded into telling him everything that has happened.

Surprisingly, Kersh kept his mouth shut and listened to her story from beginning to end.

“That is unfortunate but it can still be ruled as self-defense, Agent Scully. Whereas, your theory of influence done by Dr. Lecter, it could be a big break for this case. You have his trust, it should be easy for you to get something substantial against him”, he then said.

Her temper is slowly rising through the roof. She just told the man that she killed a patient and that she fears Hannibal had influenced her to do so and he still wants her to continue working.

“Sir, I am telling you that I want out. Assign me to anything else, any part of the country, I just want out of this case”, she insisted.

She is desperate and she does not care if that is obvious to Kersh’s ears. She cannot go back to being Bedelia knowing what she’s capable of doing if pushed to the limit. She does not want to indulge the darkness within her.

“You have to understand this, Agent Scully. I am doing this to protect your ass and Agent Mulder’s ass. Keeping the two of you apart and out of the X Files is what keeps the two of you breathing. If I take you out of this assignment, you will be sent back to D.C. and back to the X Files. Do you really want those people coming for you again?” Kersh exclaimed.

They found out about the threat to their lives few months after she was given her first assignment as undercover. Kersh had told her why she has to remain on that kind of job and not resumed her teaching position at the academy or be sent at a field office. Kersh was covering for her and Mulder. There are forces who don’t want them to continue working on the X Files and uncover more of their plans so keeping them apart is the only way to stop them from threatening their lives. Perhaps, she should thank Kersh for his concern and his efforts but it’s already eating her alive. Her life is no longer in question but her own morality is. Her values and conscience are slowly fading away. The more she gets expose to darkness, the more it devours her.

“They already started again”, he frowned, “I was attacked while I was with Dr. Lecter in the middle of the road. Dr. Lecter protected me by killing those two men who came after me”, she revealed.

“Did he ask you why they were coming after you?” Kersh asked.

“Yes and I only told him that it’s all in the past. He did not push any further”, she answered.

Kersh sighed.

“They promised to keep a leash of their dogs. I will take care of this”, 

She wants to come back. That’s the solution she’s hoping to hear but it’s not going to be feasible if there’s a threat not only to her life but to Mulder’s as well.

“Where are the bodies?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Dr. Lecter took care of it”, she answered.

“I am sorry that it happened and I am sorry that you’re in this position right now but you know this is the only way that I can protect the both of you. I cannot pull you out, not after you finished this case”, he then said.

\------------------------------

BEDELIA’S HOUSE

Hannibal is already waiting for her when she came in her living room. He is standing there while holding a bottle of her perfume.

“I always likes this smell on you. It suits you pretty well. There’s a hint of mysteriousness and danger that amplifies your appeal”, he said.

Suddenly, her breathing started to become rapid. Her hand failed in holding her bag, it dropped on the floor.

“I can say the same thing about you, Hannibal”, she muttered.

He started walking towards her.

“Tell me, Bedelia. Who are you really?” he asked.

Does he know? He must have known something because he is now asking question.

“It’s only fair that you know next to nothing about me. After all, I only know what you are telling me in our sessions. It may have been untrue”, she said while stepping away from him.

He continued his advance until Scully hit her back on the wall. There is no way for her to escape. He had cornered her and trapped her with his body. She can feel the warmth emanating from his body and it’s making her own respond despite her brain’s protest.

“That is true”, he caressed her face with his hand, “…but I feel that you already have your theories about me”, he whispered.

“I do”, she confirmed while trying her best to focus.

“Tell me about it”, he commanded.

“I believe that you do more than just influence, Hannibal”, he hummed as he took her scent to his nose, “You are capable of many things that most people are not. You like the thrill, the danger a crime presents. It amuses you to know you can have so much power over a person’s life. That’s why you became a psychiatrist. You use your power to get control over your patients’ lives. Though, it was not enough to satiate your hunger for the thrill, that same satisfying adrenaline rush…”

His hand found her waist and gently squeezed, she let an involuntary whimper.

“…you needed the experience itself to quench your thirst so you do it, but you don’t do it hastily, not if you can help it. You savor the moment. You have fascination for art and so you apply it to your activities”,

Hannibal placed his lips upon the pulse point on her neck and she moaned at the contact. He gripped at her waist and her neck tight, it made her heart raced.

“You kill them all in the end but it’s never the end of the whole experience for you…there has to be more. There’s always a takeaway. It’s not a trophy or a token. It’s more sacred for you than anything else”,

He pressed his body to her and she can feel his growing desire for her. Her own body is limp, powerless to stop him because her body does not want her to stop him. Her body wants him despite her brain telling her not to. He is a killer. She had seen him do it. She knows he is the Ripper and yet she cannot bring herself to stop him. She cannot bring herself to stop herself. Has she always been like this? Aroused by darkness? Aroused by danger?

“Tell me how it ends, Hannibal, for them”, she said.

She knows. She has an idea. The missing organs and body parts of the victims already gave her one when she first reviewed the case but she wants to hear him say it

“I eat them”, he whispered to her ears and she felt her own desire building up.

It’s sick. She knows it is sick what she’s doing right now. She is being excited by the knowledge that a man who kills people and later on eats them is touching her all over. She tries to justify her fascination with him as professional and educational. It’s not often one would meet a cannibalistic person who is an academic but that wouldn’t fly. She’s more than fascinated with him than that. She is attracted to the danger he represents. It’s one of the reasons why she had asked Kersh to pull her out. She wants out before she falls over the cliff headfirst. Unfortunately, Kersh did not allow her to.

“I don’t…think this is…wise, Hannibal”, she struggled to say.

She felt him smile on her neck.

“Then tell me to stop”, he said.

He kept on going and she cannot bring herself to ask him to stop because she doesn’t want to so instead, she moaned at his touch, his lips on her neck, his hands caressing her body.

“Am I right with my theories about you, Hannibal?” she asked with her eyes closed.

“I always knew you’re smart but I have no idea you’re that smart”, she hummed when he nibbled on her ear. “Now, let me tell you about my theories”,

His hand went up her skirt and grasped her thigh. Scully is now burning with desire.

“You’re not who you say you are. You got so much history on you that it’s easy to mask it by pretending to be someone else. Those men who tried to attack you, they had been hunting you your entire life and you thought managed to evade them judging by the look on your face that night”,

His hand found her underwear. He felt her desire and he made a satisfied hum. She gasped when his finger ran over her folds over the thin fabric of her underwear.

“…you were surprised that night. You are not Bedelia Du Maurier although you would like to be because it will allow to escape the nightmare of your past life which by my best guess, repressed all the things that made you a complex human being”,

He pulled her underwear down and entered her with two fingers. Scully held on to his shoulder to prevent herself from falling.

“I think you are more capable of things that you can imagine. You just need the right person to allow you to be you. No more caging your true self. No more hiding behind a mask. No more pretending”,

Scully moaned as he thrusts into her with his fingers.

“Tell me your name”, he whispered to her ear.

No, don’t, her brain tells her to.

Don’t fall for his tricks! It is a trick! She wants to tell herself but all the common sense and morality have left her when she entered her house. The moment she allowed him to touch her, it’s already over. He’s won.

“Dana…my name is Dana”, she obliged.

With that, Hannibal pulled his fingers from her, freed his member and pinned her against the wall and took her there…hard.

\------------------------------

PRESENT DAY

Scully lay awake on her bed, naked as the day she’s born. Her mouth hangs open while her eyes rolled back. She gripped the sheets as she felt the desire in her about to break…again.

“Hannibal…” she exhaled and he only hummed in approval, “Fuck!” she cursed and felt the release left her body.

Hannibal wiped her essence from his mouth and watched her catch her breath as she comes down from the high.

“That’s four”, he commented.

“Are you keeping count?” she asked.

He did not answer and only smiled. He lied down next to her and held her to his arms.

“Your former partner gave you a hard time today?” he asked.

“He knows me too well. He knows I lied for you. They all can see your pattern now and it’s only a matter of time before they get something that they can use on you”, she answered.

“Let’s leave then. Come with me to Paris”, he proposed.


	8. Nowhere To Be Found

Hannibal’s proposal to run away with him left her in shock. Could he possibly mean that? During their sessions, she got a sense that Hannibal is not capable of forming an intimate relationship in a romantic sense. It must involve something that will stimulate his primal senses. It’s what drawn him to Will Graham. It stimulates him to mold Will into a monster Hannibal wants him to be. He wants to turn Will like him as he kept saying he sees himself in Will.

She is certain she is not like Hannibal. He may have persuaded her before to kill a man but that’s the extent of it. He had not tried to push her to limits again after that. All she ever did for him the past two years is lie for him. It’s not as stimulating as manipulation. 

He laid out to her the pros of coming to Europe with him. He told her about the arts, the culture, which she hates to admit, entices her. Ever since she entered the FBI, she had not had the time to travel and enjoy the world. She’s always on a case, risking her life, losing someone else, or being on a hospital bed. Hannibal is presenting her with a chance to be free for once and take the time to appreciate what she’s been missing all along…a life. Who knows that the person who will offer her such thing is a psychopathic killer?

Of course, she had waited for Mulder to offer her the same but his crusade had always comes first. She understood his need to find his sister, to find the truth, and she had supported him along the way. It does not mean she’s not yearning to experience life. She even told him once about the idea of getting out of the car to which he responded that his life is always being in a car. It saddened her but she decided not to be selfish and kept on supporting him instead.

Hannibal did not rush her with her decision. He had given her at least 24 hours to decide since it’s the only time they have before Agent Crawford and Mulder figured out the he’s The Ripper all along. She must be objective. Dana Scully is a woman of integrity, morality, and science. Despite the alluring offer to be free from everything, she must fulfill her duty first. It’s what Mulder had taught her. The job, the justice, the truth, must come first. If the price of Hannibal going to jail is bringing herself down along with him, it’s what she has to pay.

\-----------------------------

HOTEL

Scully parked outside the hotel to talk to Mulder about Hannibal. She can end it now. She can finish the job and move on to the next one. The killings will stop and Will Graham will be free.

What she did not expect seeing is Diana Fowley inside Mulder’s room. The curtains are opened and they got lights on inside so it allows her to see everything that’s happening in there. They’re surrounded by files which they’re both studying but it’s not what’s bothered her. What bothers her is the intimacy between the two of them. The way Mulder leaned to her comfortably, or the way she dabbed a piece of cloth on his sweaty forehead. They’re even sharing one china takeout.

Ten years had passed and Diana remained to be his partner for those years while she’s away. Of course, it’s naïve of her to think that there’s nothing going on between them. There’s always been something. Diana was there first as Mulder repeatedly told her back in the day when she’s telling him about her distrust for her. There’s always going to be a Diana between them. 

Scully felt that familiar pain in her chest, the one she shoved so hard back so she won’t feel it. After all these years, Mulder still got that effect on her. It never changes. She stood there longer, just watching them before she decided that it’s enough. She then picked the lock of his car and put a large envelope inside before leaving. There would be no need for goodbye, she figured. He’s safe and alive. Her life may have been turned upside down by living under different personas, but it kept him alive. Kersh was right. It’s the only way for them to survive. She has to keep it that way so she walks away.

\-------------------------------

BALTIMORE STATE HOSPITAL FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE

It’s not certain if it’s a good idea but Scully found herself standing outside Will Graham’s cell. Mulder’s words about how an innocent man is paying for Hannibal’s crimes rang in her ears. Will may have the potential for darkness but those crimes are not his and he is the one locked up when it should be Hannibal.

“Dr. Du Maurier”, he said, recognizing her from the one time they met in Hannibal’s office. “You’re Hannibal’s psychiatrist. What was that like?” he asked.

She can see the toll on him, the very same struggle that she had lost, eating Will for he continues to fight.

“I heard so much about you, I almost feel like I know you”, she muttered.

“You don’t”, he countered.

“No, I don’t”, she agreed.

It is not fair for him to be in there but it is for the best. If he’s outside, Hannibal can get to him anytime and it wouldn’t be fruitful.

“Why are you here?” he asked.

She had asked herself that too.

“I wanted to see you before I withdraw”, she answered.

She has not given her answer yet to Hannibal about his proposal but what is there for her to go back to? Besides, being away from Mulder and the X Files had its benefits. Mulder is alive.

“Withdraw?” he asked again.

“…from social ties”, Will scoffed and made a mockery of her profession, “Traumatized are unpredictable because we know that we can survive. You can survive this happening to you”, she added.

Will suddenly got confused. He is a profiler and a very good one at it. He can clearly read that there’s something else she wants to say but she can’t. She is conflicted, something he can relate to. Scully then crossed the white line on the floor and went to the bar, asking him to do the same. Once they’re face to face, he lends her his ears.

“I believe you”, she whispered which made his body shakes, “We will get him. Just give it some time”, she added before the guards took her away.

\--------------------------------

BEDELIA’S HOUSE

After her errands, she started packing her clothes, not all of it…just the essentials. There are very little things that she can still call Dana’s. Most of her belongings are for Bedelia. Living under her skin for four years will do that. Lastly, she packed her computer into the bag before she heard the knocking on the door.

“You packed lightly”, Hannibal commented when he saw her carrying only one suitcase.

“I heard Paris has great stores”, she teased.

He smiled at her genuinely.

“I will get you everything your heart desires”, he promised.

He carried her bag and load it in the car. She took one last glance at her house before getting in the car.

“I always like that house. The first one I actually bought”, she mentioned.

“I can see the allure of it and it’s very you. Don’t worry. I took it upon myself to find a suitable home for us in Europe, one you’ll also fall in love with”, he said and then drove.

\------------------------------

HOTEL

Mulder is lying awake on his bed at the hotel. They just finished reviewing the statement from Will Graham as well as Scully’s statement as Bedelia. Of course, they did not get anywhere since Scully had lied for Hannibal and she told him so. Diana is back in her own room and he couldn’t bring himself to sleep like always. His mind is racing. Scully looks conflicted the last time they talk. He can see that a part of her wants to finish the job and put Hannibal to prison and at the same time, there is a part of her that does not want to.

“Mulder”, he answered his phone.

“This is Agent Crawford. I got a call from the hospital saying that Dr. Du Maurier just visited Will Graham earlier”, Jack said.

Scully visited Will? It’s enough to wake up his sleeping muscles. He quickly grabbed his coat and put on his shoes. There must have been a reason why she went there. She’s been adamant on staying clear when it comes to the case. Visiting Will only invites scrutiny from Jack and she’s aware of that.

“Where you up to?” Diana asked when he knocked at her door fully dressed.

“I got a call from Jack Crawford. You don’t need to come. It’s probably nothing. I just want to let you know I’m going”, he answered.

Diana settled for that. She knows to steer clear from his way when he got that look on his face and he’s sporting it clearly.

“Alright…let me know what you’ll find out”, she answered.

Mulder went to his car right after. He’s about to leave when he found an envelope at the seat next to his with his name written on the back. He knows that penmanship by heart. It’s Scully’s. She left it there. She was there. 

He opened the envelope and saw a file of Hannibal Lecter. It’s not the same file on the record of FBI. It’s the file she compiled on him from his childhood until he became a psychiatrist. She also included there notes from their sessions. 

‘Want a confession? Check my drawer at my bedroom – S’

Evidence…she got evidence against Hannibal. Mulder quickly started the engine and drove off. He is debating internally whether to go to see Jack first or go to Scully’s house. The latter won since they know she went to see Will, Jack will make it his next move to come see her. He needs to get there first.

\-----------------------------

BEDELIA’S HOUSE

The house is uncharacteristically dark. There is no light on outside and inside. Her car is not outside either. She’s not there. Where is she?

Mulder went in by picking the lock. She left direction for him so he proceeded to her bedroom. He opened all the drawers inside the room and there were a lot of drawers. All of them are empty except for one who contained her cross necklace. He knocked inside the drawer and discovered there’s a secret compartment inside. He removed it and saw tapes. It’s video recording of her session with Hannibal. She recorded it without Hannibal’s knowledge thinking she may need it later. Perhaps, she wants out more than she thinks. He quickly packed up the tapes and left the house.

\------------------------------

BALTIMORE STATE HOSPITAL FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE

Mulder arrived at the hospital and saw Jack Crawford waiting for him. He ushered him to the security room and played the footage where Scully visited Will at his cell.

“Is it psychiatric purpose?” Mulder asked.

“Look”, Jack responded.

He watched closely and saw Scully crossed the white line and waited for Will to come near her. It’s clear she said something to him which left Will shaken when the guards took her away. He watched as Will catches his breath. Whatever she said to him, it’s something big for him to react that way.

“Have you talked to Will yet?” he asked Jack.

“He’s not responding. I don’t know what she said to him. She’s unreachable on her cell. We should go to her house”, Jack answered.

“She’s not there”, Jack turned to him, “…when you told me that she visited Will, I went there first hoping to catch her, bring her along but the house is empty. Her car is not parked anywhere. She’s nowhere to be found”, he answered, lying a few aspects of it.

The impact of what he said just came to him late. She’s nowhere to be found. It did not occur to him earlier but now it did and he does not know what to do with it. She purposely left that envelope and those tapes for him because she’s leaving. She visited Will just before she took off and it left the man shaken to the core.

“Well, that’s just great. Dr. Lecter is nowhere to be found either”, Jack muttered.


	9. Queequeg

SESSION 36

SCULLY: This goes better if I’m perfectly honest with you.

HANNIBAL: What would be the point otherwise?

SCULLY: Well, one of us has to be honest.

HANNIBAL: I am honest.

SCULLY: not perfectly…

HANNIBAL: as honest as anyone…

SCULLY: not really…I had conversation with a version of you and hope that the actual you gets what he needs.

HANNIBAL: a version of me?

SCULLY: Naturally, I respect its meticulous construction but you are wearing a very well-tailored person suit.

HANNIBAL: Do you refer to me as person suit with your psychiatrist friends?

SCULLY: I don’t talk patients with my psychiatrist friends especially that I only have one patient who ignored my retirement.

HANNIBAL: a person who wears a person suit…

SCULLY: perhaps it’s less of a person suit but more of a human veil…must be lonely.

HANNIBAL: I have friends and the opportunity for friendship. You and I are friendly.

SCULLY: You’re my patient and my colleague, not my friend. At the end of your hour, I will pour you a glass of wine. Nevertheless, you will be drinking it on the other side of the veil.

HANNIBAL: why do you bother?

SCULLY: I see enough of you to know the truth of you…and I like you.

\--------------------------------

HOTEL

Mulder surrounded himself with files collected by Scully and her notes about Hannibal. She noted that he got a special condition which she did not specify. It stated there that it was the fruit of an event in his childhood which resulted to a violent compulsion. He digs into more recording sessions and little by little he begins to see what Scully wants to tell in her notes but can’t articulate well. There is something about Hannibal that inspires sinister atmosphere. Mulder’s profiler brain started working. He tries to assume his way of thinking and read between his answers to Scully. Every fiber in Mulder’s body screams that Hannibal is the Ripper. He can understand now what Scully was saying. She believes Hannibal is the Ripper but without hard evidence and no matter if she shows those files and recordings to Kersh, it won’t stick especially if Abigail Hobbs’ ear was recovered in Will’s stomach.

There is still no news of Scully’s whereabouts. Diana worked with Jack in finding her as she’s now missing person as Bedelia. Mulder confined himself inside his room and studied what Scully left for him. 

\-----------------------------

SESSION 48

SCULLY: Hannibal…I’m your psychiatrist. You’re not mine.

HANNIBAL: I think you are in need of one. How’s the nightmares?

SCULLY: Is this what you want to talk about?

HANNIBAL: the topic is traumatic experience and obsessive patients. You can relate to that.

SCULLY: I don’t know about obsessive patients. I never had one. 

HANNIBAL: You don’t consider Neal Frank as an obsessive patient?

SCULLY: he’s obsessed and paranoid about you, not to me. Why don’t we go back to your patient?

HANNIBAL: this is making you uncomfortable.

SCULLY: We agreed to never discuss this again.

HANNIBAL: I know. Like I said, I feel protective of you. I want to make sure you’re doing well after the attack.

SCULLY: By that you mean if I am living up to your expectations after the attack, if I sleep well at night knowing what I did, what you wanted me to do, is that where this is going, Hannibal?

HANNIBAL: There’s no need for you to lose your temper on me. I am just trying to help. Your superiors did not allow you to escape this situation. It’s my job to make it easier for you…Dana.

\------------------------------

HOTEL

Mulder sat up straight when Hannibal called Scully Dana. He knows who she is. They’re talking about the attack in her office and she’s saying that it’s what he wanted her to do. Did he influence her to kill her patient? Is that the reason why she is protecting him? What does he mean by her superiors did not allow her to escape the situation?

\-------------------------------

CONT’D OF SESSION 48

SCULLY: Stop, Hannibal. Whatever it is you’re trying to do here, stop.

HANNIBAL: I’m not playing any mind tricks with you. I am just stating a fact here. They brought you here and when you asked them to get you out, they refused. What does that tell you?

SCULLY: it tells me that I have a job to finish and that would require me staying here for a little while.

HANNIBAL: …but you have achieved what you came here for already. You discovered what others failed to discover and you found out more than what you bargained for. The other night is a proof of that.

SCULLY: the other night is a mistake.

HANNIBAL: It does not seem like it at the time. I told you what I am, what I do, and you came because of it. You may not know yourself after all or perhaps, you do know yourself. You’re just keen on suppressing the darkness within you but it’s starting to come out. It starts when you shoved your arm down Neal Frank’s throat and it continued when you let me fuck you while I confirmed all of your theories about me. The question that remains here is not whether what I am capable of. The question is what else you’re capable of, Dana.

\------------------------------

HOTEL

His head is spinning. She slept with him. It is more than implied. Her theories about Hannibal Lecter has been confirmed by him and she still slept with him. Could it be why she is hesitant on turning him herself? She’s shamed of what she’s done and there is a possibility that it will be brought up if Hannibal gets caught. Hannibal’s words rang in his ears. He talked about Scully’s darkness. He talked about how she ‘shoved’ her arm down her patient’s throat. According to the file that Jack Crawford showed him, her patient died of seizure. The patient apparently swallowed his tongue while attacking Scully. If what Hannibal was saying is true, that Scully did that herself…Mulder couldn’t even begin to imagine his Scully doing that. She is a doctor. Her first instinct is to treat people, not to kill.

Diving more to the files, Scully noted Hannibal’s fascination with culinary and his ‘special’ ingredients. Mulder’s brain clicked. Abigail Hobbs’ ear was recovered in Will Graham’s stomach. Will was saying Hannibal had framed him and that it’s Hannibal who forced that ear down his throat. He pieced it all together with the other notes on Scully’s files on Hannibal and he had come up with a profile for Hannibal. It’s the only thing that would make sense on why there were missing organs on the victims’ bodies. It would explain the condition Scully was talking about and what had originated from his childhood. Hannibal Lecter is a cannibalistic psychopath.

Now, that is one hell of a profile. The problem is, how on earth is he going to prove it without incriminating Scully? The footages all include the aspect of her knowing what he is and willfully covered up for him during interrogation with Jack Crawford. She did not also include what she knows from Hannibal in her reports. She would look like an accessory to his crimes. 

There is one last tape that he recovered from her drawer. It’s not labelled as part of the session but it has the name Queequeg on it which tells Mulder how important the tape is.

\-----------------------------

QUEEQUEG

Hannibal sat across Scully in the living room but it’s dark. They both got glasses of wine in their hands.

SCULLY: Will Graham is innocent. You know that.

HANNIBAL: what constitutes innocence?

SCULLY: the fact that he did not kill Abigail Hobbs or any of those people. Will Graham is not the Ripper.

HANNIBAL: He may not have been the Ripper but he has the potential to become one. It’s in him already. It just needs a little push.

SCULLY: He is not a Copycat either. Will Graham is an FBI profiler. Of course, he can assume the darkness’ mentality because it’s his job. That does not make him a killer.

HANNIBAL: All of us got the killer side, Dr. Du Maurier. It’s only a matter of restraints and control. Present us with the right circumstances and the beast unleashes.

SCULLY: Is that what you’re doing with him in all those sessions? You’re presenting him the right circumstances. You’re trying to unleash the beast in him.

HANNIBAL: I presented a circumstance. He fell for it. Now he’s locked up.

SCULLY: Everyone thinks of him as the Ripper now. They all expect for the killings to stop. Can you stop?

HANNIBAL: You don’t stop for a single meal in a feast.

SCULLY: I believe that is a no. If so, you can expect Will Graham to be out in the wild anytime soon.

HANNIBAL: That may be true. It would be nice if Will can join us in the wild soon. The Ripper needs his apprentice to go on a hunt.

SCULLY: is that what he is now? An apprentice?

HANNIBAL: Where is he going to learn his true nature though? From The Ripper himself, of course.

\--------------------------------

HOTEL

Mulder got on his feet.

“That’s it!” he uttered out loud.

It’s the confession Scully was referring to in the note. Hannibal just confessed to being the Ripper and affirmed that he set up Will Graham to take the blame. It did not pertain to anything incriminating against Scully and he could spin it as if Hannibal had threatened her if Jack raised more questions about her. It wouldn’t matter anyway when Scully finally dropped her cover and reveal herself as an FBI agent.

He hurried out the hotel carrying the tape with him. It will clear Will’s name and put Hannibal in prison for his crimes. Scully will be free from pretending to be Bedelia Du Maurier. Everything will return to normal.

“Skinner, it’s me. I got it. We got the evidence that will reveal who the Ripper is”, he said while running towards his car. 

“I thought it’s Will Graham, that profiler”, Skinner said.

“No, it’s not Will Graham. Listen, Scully managed to get a confession from Dr. Lecter. He admits to being the Ripper and framing Will Graham to take the blame. It’s all on a tape”, Mulder explained.

“Are you saying you found her?” Skinner asked.

“No, not yet. We don’t know where she is but she left me this tape so we can go after Dr. Lecter. This is it. We can get Scully back after this”, Mulder answered with renewed enthusiasm.

“No, Mulder. We can’t”, Skinner suddenly said.

He came to a stop.

“What are you talking about we can’t? After this case, you talk to Kersh and have her reassigned to X Files again. Ten years undercover is enough”, Mulder insisted.

“You don’t understand, Mulder. Kersh and Scully had agreed to this assignment in order to save both of your lives”, Skinner then said which shocked Mulder to the core.


	10. The Thing Called Trust

FBI FIELD OFFICE

Mulder welcomed Skinner at the Field Office in Baltimore. Hannibal Lecter is now a wanted criminal by the FBI thanks to the confession clip Scully left Mulder. The only problem they have now is that they don’t know where she is or if she’s with Hannibal. Dr. Bedelia Du Maurier is now a missing person. Will Graham has been released from his cell and is undergoing therapy to recover from the mental toll of being falsely accused.

“What do you got?” Skinner asked.

“She’s last seen at the airport but there’s no records of her purchasing any ticket under her real name or her cover’s name”, Mulder answered and they both settled at the side of the hallway. “Listen, I don’t understand this game. Why can’t we just tell them who Scully is? Isn’t it going to be much helpful if they know she’s also a federal agent?” he asked.

“I talked to Kersh before I got here. Scully had confessed to him of killing a patient with her bare hands”, he said.

Mulder knew that. He saw it in one of the clips.

“Hannibal’s mode of operation is influence. He influences his patients to do violent things. You know Scully. She wouldn’t do that on her own. It’s easy to fix”, Mulder explained.

“even if so, it will not look good if a federal agent is accused of a brutal murder like that. Besides, revealing her identity will put her back on the map. She will have that mark on her back again and people will start coming for her again and you”, Skinner argued.

He did mention to him that Kersh put Scully away from Mulder in order to protect the both of them but he did not explain on the phone why. Scully never mentioned either about any threat. For years, Mulder thought she left because of him, because of how badly he treated her. He’s not doubting the fact that he was an ass back then but now he thinks there’s more to it than just that. She wouldn’t stay that long away from her family and bear not seeing her mother again for ten years if it was not important. How come he did not see that before?

“Tell me what you know”, Mulder said.

Skinner looked around him and pulled Mulder closer just to make sure no one will hear them.

“There are forces who don’t want you to continue your work at the X Files. Kersh was informed that there was an order for the termination of both you and Scully. Kersh stepped in and pulled her away knowing that it would derail your work. He hoped that it would be enough to keep them at bay from hurting any of you”, Skinner explained.

“In case you had not noticed I am still working at the X Files. My work has not stopped”, Mulder pointed out.

Skinner made a face.

“Yeah, what important conspiracy break have you uncovered so far, Mulder?” the answer is none, “You investigated cases here and there but it’s not as big as you used to when you’re with Scully. The two of you together tend to stumble upon cases forces up there don’t want for anyone to know. You two were too good of a team you managed to dig things that had been buried so deep. X Files may still be yours but you have to notice at least that something is holding you back”, Skinner responded.

Mulder felt that for years. It’s one of the reasons why felt so bored at his job. The thrill of chasing the truth had gone sour for his tongue and he couldn’t understand why. He used to be passionate about it but ever since Scully left, it also faded. Something is indeed holding him back.

“What could possibly hold me back?” he asked Skinner who seemed to know the answer.

“Not something…but someone”, he answered gesturing to Diana who is talking to Jack Crawford from a distant.

Mulder followed his gaze and saw his current partner.

“Diana? Seriously? Did Kersh tell you that?” Mulder asked him as he turned back to Skinner.

“He did not have to state the exact name but I caught his drift”, Skinner answered and sighed. “Come on, Mulder. You can’t be that blind. Tell me, who picked your cases since Scully left?” he asked him back.

Diana. 

She took it upon herself to book their cases. She had became his manager when it comes to the X Files. He was at a lost when Scully left and she handled the work for him. He thought she’s being helpful and supportive. He appreciated the effort but now, the more he thinks about it, the more it makes sense. Scully’s words about her suspicions on Diana came back at him. He remembered that night with her and the Gunmen and how he shut her down in favor of Diana. 

“We can deal with the threats later. Right now, we need to find Scully and finish this case. Will you help me?” Mulder asked once more.

“It’s Dana. Of course, I will help”, Skinner answered.

That’s when Diana and Jack approached them. Mulder and Skinner kept quiet and listened to the two talk about the videotape of Hannibal’s apparent confession. Jack also informed them that Will already talked about what Scully had said to him when she visited him. It appeared to Jack as if Scully is planning to cooperate in bringing Hannibal down. His theory is that Hannibal might have sensed what she’s planning and he took her with him since he’s missing himself too. It is feasible one if Scully is Bedelia as they know her. She’s Scully though. She always have a plan. She must have a plan.

\-------------------------------

HOTEL

Diana paced back and forth in front of Mulder while narrating what she found out at the field office. He just looked at her, let her pour whatever it is she wants to share. His mind is already set on one thing. Answers. He needs answers. 

“Fox, are you listening to me?” she asked when she realized he’s not participative.

“Oh, I am but I got something else in my mind right now”, he answered coldly.

“Something else? I thought you want to find Agent Scully”, she asked again.

“I still do and in fact, I was just thinking about her and what she had said about you”, she frowned, “She warned me about you, Diana. She told me not to trust you. She presented me with information and data about your activities after you left X Files. You got suspicious movements throughout seven years and you know what I did? I shut her down. I told her she’s reaching and that she’s making it personal. I sided with you because I thought I know you. Now, I don’t think I do”, he answered.

“Fox, what are you talking about?” she muttered.

He scoffed. It’s easy to spot now when she’s playing the offended one card. How come he did not see it before? He’s been blinded, that’s why. He let her play him for years like a fool.

“Is it Smoking Man who is threatening my life and Scully’s? That’s why she’s sent to go undercover for ten years, right? That’s why you’re here with me. That’s why you got stuck with the X Files, to monitor everything, to control the cases, to control me”, he exclaimed.

Everything hit the right spot. Diana flinched at his words and remained there with wide eyes. She has no idea how he figured it out but he did and there is no escape.

“The Syndicate wanted you dead, Fox. You know how they will not stop once they got their eyes on something. I had to warn Deputy Director Kersh about it. I did not know what to do. Kersh had reassigned Agent Scully to prevent her from getting involved further with the X Files but the Syndicate was not satisfied. You still work with the X Files so I volunteered to keep an eye on you. I assured them you will not get in their way and in return they assured me no harm will come to you to Agent Scully. So far, it worked because you’re still here standing and alive. I did not regret my decision, Fox. The only thing I regret is not telling you about it and preventing you from uncovering the truth you’ve been seeking your whole life”, she spilled out.

She’s been holding it in for ten years. It’s time for her to spill the beans.

“Those years after you left me, was it true that you have collected information of MUFON groups for the Smoking Man and the Syndicate?” Mulder asked under his breath.

“Yes”, she confirmed.

He chuckled and rubbed his forehead.

“I can’t believe I shut Scully down and believed in you. She’s right all along. Of course, she was right. When did Scully say anything wrong especially when she’s backed up with hard facts. I was just too dumb to listen because I believed you’re not capable of betraying me”,

“Fox…I was just trying to protect you”, she explained.

“You may put it that way but hid things to me. You sabotaged my work while hiding in plain sight. Death threats? How many of those they have thrown out of our way? Scully and I faced them with full force and we won each time because the truth always wins no matter how hard they tried to bury it but you put a stop to that by splitting us apart. You could have told me about the threats and we could have worked together and stopped them. That’s called trust, Diana, something I thought we got for each other. I am so dead wrong. I am so dead wrong about you”,

“Fox, please…” she pleaded but he does not want to hear it.

“She’s in this mess because of you and because of the people you are working for. She might be out there with a psychopathic killer and it’s all on you. You fooled me for years, Diana, not anymore. My eyes are open now and thanks to you, I got a lot to make up for. I advise for you to pack up your things and leave first thing in the morning. I don’t want to see you ever again, Diana”, he said.

Tears filled her eyes. She may have imagined it happening exactly that way. She just did not expect it to hit her that hard.

“If that’s what you want, Fox, I will respect it. I just want you to know that I did what I did because I love you and I want to protect you. That’s all”, she said.

“The line between love and possessiveness is thin. It’s easy to confuse it with one another. Goodbye, Diana”, he replied coldly.

\----------------------------

Few more weeks passed and still they don’t have any leads of Scully’s whereabouts. Mulder became to be frustrated of the investigation. Jack Crawford and Will Graham had joined forces in scouring the neighboring states and possibly Hannibal’s birthplace just to find him and Scully. Skinner remained with him throughout. He sometimes travelled back and forth from Baltimore to Washington so he can maximize the resources they have there. Skinner had informed Mulder that Diana had quit the X Files and was granted a reassignment which is confidential according to Kersh. Kersh had also helped in search of Scully while feeling responsible for her disappearance after declining her request to be pulled out of the case.

“Anything?” Skinner asked when he brought food to Mulder’s hotel room.

“I have asked the Gunmen for help in hacking stuff, I don’t know just about anything they can hack on that might connect with either Hannibal or Scully but so far they came up with nothing. How about you?” Mulder answered then asked him back.

“It’s the same in D.C. Kersh said Scully had not used any of the cards issued to her under her cover’s name or any of her cover’s names. No one knows how she’s able to get out of state or the country without using her false passports”, he answered.

Something clicked in Mulder.

“She did not use those because they will be traceable”, he muttered.

“Are you saying she does not want to be traced?” Skinner asked.

“Possibly. We cannot find her because we’re looking for names she would not use. We need to look for other names, names that are not known to the bureau as her cover”, he answered.

He then called the Gunmen to pull up the records of all the passengers who flew that day she disappeared. It’s a very long list and it took him and Skinner three more days scouring domestic and international flights’ lists until they’re search hit a solid lead.

“I got it”, Mulder muttered as Skinner rushed to his side. “Lydia Fell. That’s her picture. She travelled under the name of Lydia Fell and according here, she went to Paris with a connecting flight to Florence, Italy”, he added.

“Mulder, we found her”, Skinner responded with smile on his face which mirrors Mulder’s.


	11. Florence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took me so long to update. I am down to one subject and it's a pain in the ass. Add that to the things i got to finish at work and i am swamped but here it is. Thanks for the patience!

FLORENCE, ITALY

Paris was only a stop. She should have known that they weren’t really going to stay there but she did enjoy being there. It’s her first time and like Hannibal had promised, he bought her shitloads of clothes. It was like a honeymoon period. None of them remembered the mess they left in Baltimore. In Paris, they’re Mr. and Mrs. Fell. Scully has no idea where he got those names from but when they got to the airport, he presented her with passport with that name. She got a complete set of I.D.’s under the name of Lydia Fell. She went along with it right after she spent a good fifteen minutes in front of CCTV cameras at the airport just to leave a few breadcrumbs to Mulder. She knew he’ll pick it up and hopefully he figured out how she got out of the country.

After their week in Paris, Hannibal had asked her to move to Florence. The city has significance to him. He came there when he was a boy and he became a man in that place. For the first time in four years, Scully saw him at peace. He has not reverted to his old ways. No one died or got eaten. She’s seeing a whole new side of Hannibal, a man he could have been if the tragedy of his childhood did not happen. He would have been sweet, idealistic, passionate, and loving. Of course, it’s all wishful thinking on her part. The damage has been done. She cannot take it all back. She can only make sure that he won’t kill anyone again until Mulder can catch up to them, if he can.

“Who is he?” she asked when Hannibal had told her they are going to have a visitor.

“Antony Dimmond. He’s a friend of the Fells”, he answered casually as he prepares the food.

The Fells? She had not asked him where he got their fake identities and she should have. She did not think he got them from an actual people. That would mean he killed them so they can assume their identities.

“…and I am guessing he found out that the Fells are here in Florence”, she muttered.

“That’s right. We’ve met back in Baltimore when I was searching for our new identities. In fact, he was the one who told me about Roman Fell and his work here in Europe. I did not think he will be here and our paths will cross again but it has so I invited him for dinner”, he explained.

Her heart started beating fast. She has no idea what he has in mind. Of course, they continue their therapy in Paris and in Florence but it has became personal and emotional. She has been too complacent with the few weeks of peace that she felt unprepared for the beast to resurface.

“What are you planning, Hannibal?” she asked bluntly.

“…just talk, Dana. No need to worry. He does not know we have assumed their identities. As far as he knows, we’re Mr. and Mrs. Lecter”, he answered.

It’s a relief but not entirely. There are so many things that can go possibly wrong with the dinner. Antony might tip off something in Hannibal and it could end in a bloodbath. She wouldn’t want it to come to that.

When the night has come, Scully had braced herself. She wore a nice red dress which Hannibal had approved. He always like seeing her all made up. Of course, she did not put it on for him. She never dresses for someone else but for herself. She helped Hannibal set the table for the feast he had prepared. When the doorbell rang, she knew it has begun. Antony Dimmond walked in the space with a smugness in his face. He eyed Scully from head to toe and she immediately felt uncomfortable in his presence. Hannibal looked rather amused from the attention she’s getting from their guest. He is clearly enjoying the situation.

“Are you friends with Lydia?” he asked Scully while they’re in the course of dining.

She never even met the woman.

“No”, she answered briefly.

Keeping it short until the night is over, that is her goal. She wants it so badly to end, hopefully without anyone slicing a flesh.

“Are you avoiding meat?” he suddenly asked.

He began noticing what Hannibal is serving her. He’s been keen lately in feeding her with oysters and snails. It dawned on her that he’s giving her what he gives to his potential meals. Hannibal smirked at her, clearly challenging her to make a come back after that thought. He knows that she knows and he is looking forward how she’s going to deal with it, another mind game of his.

“My husband has a very sophisticated palate. He’s very particular about how I taste”, she responded.

Antony’s eyes shot from her to Hannibal and then back to her now with renewed interest.

“Is it that kind of party?” he asked her.

That alarmed her. The look on his eyes screams feral. His pupils are dilated with lust. He’s been eyeing her since he got in and taking her words in mind, he seemed determined now. Scully turned to Hannibal and hope he saw the alarm on her face. As much as she wants the night to end with pleasant goodbye, she has no intention to share a bed with a stranger.

“No, it’s not that kind of party”, Hannibal answered for her.

She sighed a little.

“No, it really isn’t”, she seconded.

“Hmmm…such a shame. You two suddenly became so fascinating”, Antony remarked and she thought it wound end with that.

After a few seconds, she stiffened. She felt a something warm on her leg then her thigh. She flinched and her knee bumped upwards under the table. Hannibal shot her a look which she masked with a fake cough.

“Would you excuse me for a moment? I need to use the bathroom”, she said and then hurried away from the dining table.

Back in the day, she wouldn’t let anyone treat her like that. She felt completely being made a fool of. Hannibal is playing with her mind while Antony shamelessly undressing her with his eyes on the dining table. She felt violated and she wants to retaliate by punching them both on their faces but she held back. It’s peace she wants. She wants the night to end in peace, no blood included. She breathes in and forced herself to relax. Once she’s satisfied with herself, she came out and went back to the dining room but came to a stop by the living room when she saw Hannibal and Antony talking.

It seemed harmless at first up until Hannibal picked up the stone head figure on the table and like a slow motion, he bashed Antony’s head with it. Scully gasped at it. Her breath along with her heart almost came to a full stop. She watched as Hannibal gently put the stone figure back on the table, stained with Antony Dimmond’s blood on it. He gazed at her and then approached her casually like nothing had happened.

“Observe or participate?” he asked.

It went past her. Her eyes are set on Antony Dimmond who is struggling to regain his vision onto the floor. His blood oozing from the cut on his head down his face. He must have one hell of a concussion, clots in his brain. She already started diagnosing his condition before she recalled Hannibal had asked her a question.

“What?” she muttered. She cannot remember what he said.

“I said, are you in this very moment observing or participating?” he repeated.

He is really going to kill him. She can try and stop him. Hit him in the head. Knock him out. Save Antony Dimmond. Run for her dear life. If she does that, she will lose him. All those years of work will be for nothing. Once she loses him, there is no hope in finding him again. She needs to wait. She needs to trust that Mulder will be able to find her and catch Hannibal himself.

“Observing”, she answered breathily.

She must let this happen. Sleeping with the enemy, or rather the devil, has consequences and this is one of those. She gets to witness his monstrosity firsthand. Of course, she knew about his crimes but it’s all words. She figured him out through their sessions, her instincts, and his admission. She has never seen him actually kill anyone. In fact, she was the one who had killed someone.

“Did you know what he will do? What I would do? Did you anticipate our thoughts? Counter thoughts?” he asked.

Is this another part of his mind games?

“Yes”, she answered.

She did. She’s been anticipating them since she found out about their guest.

“Is this what you expected?” he asked again.

“Yes”, she answered although she hoped for something different, like the night ending into a goodbye and everything will be forgotten.

“Now, that is participating”, he said firmly.

It is, of course. She knew that. She just did not want to admit it. Observing is just an illusion. The mere fact that she’s not completely helpless and yet she’s willing to stand there and watch Hannibal kill a man is already participation. She chose not to do anything. She participated by letting Antony Dimmond die.

“Do you really have to kill him? This is such a waste of a good carpet”, she asked in spite.

He knows she’s not concerned about the carpet. She’s concerned about preserving peace as much as she can and he knows that. Their life in Florence is an ideal one, a perfect illusion, and Scully preferred to keep it that way for as long as they can until someone comes along to burst their bubble.

“I’ll buy you a new one tomorrow. I promise”, they both heard Antony struggling to reach the doorknob. He was able to crawl his way to the door. “Hold on a moment. I’ll be right back”, Hannibal said and went to the bleeding man on the floor.

He stepped both sides of his head, grabbed him under his chin and broke his neck. He did it so effortlessly. Scully gasped but it’s inaudible now. Tears are flowing freely from her eyes. she is somehow reminded of the day she shoved her arm down Neal Frank’s throat. It was a control use of force like what Hannibal has said. This is the same. Hannibal has the control. She watched him clean his hand with his handkerchief the way he used to do when he’s working the kitchen.

“What have you gotten yourself into, Bedelia? Dana?” he asked.

She’s been asking the same thing herself for a very long time. He ushered her to their bedroom, helped her change to her night dress before he went back to clean up outside. 

He must have been gone for hours but she did not notice. When he returned, she’s still seated on the same spot of the bed where he left her. Her eyes staring blankly on the floor. It was the same look she got on her face when he found her in her living room the day she killed Neal Frank. She’s there but her mind is elsewhere. Hannibal sat next to her and held her hand.

“I must tell you that I did not do it deliberately to make you mad. I was determined in keeping my promise to you that I will try keeping my impulses in check but aside from the fact that he’s a danger to our identities, he was rude and he touched you”, she turned to him. So, he knew what happened under the table. He only waited for her to go to the bathroom before he did anything else. “I couldn’t stop myself. We treated him nicely. I cooked for him. We served him a nice meal and tried to entertain him as proper hosts and he laid his hand on you. Forgive me, if I cause you pain”, he added.

That surprises her. Did he just apologize to her for killing a man in her honor? She shouldn’t feel flattered with that. He did just murder someone in cold blood, but he did it for her. I feel protective of you, he said.

The confusion in her grew even more. She is not there to form anything with Hannibal Lecter. Yes, she did sleep with him. She covered for him but her goal remains the same. She is to bring him down but during their short time in Paris and in Florence, she is beginning to see improvements in him. He can manage to tame the beast if he wants to, if something or someone is encouraging him to be better. How can she put him behind bars and outright show him her betrayal when he’s trying to change?

“You did not cause me pain, Hannibal”, she said, not physically at least.

“I reminded you of your trauma”, he argued, trauma that he caused.

“I got so many in my life. It’s hard to differentiate them at times”, she muttered weakly.

“Then I promise to do my best to avoid reminding you of such horrible things”, he promised.


	12. Found You

FLORENCE, ITALY

Mulder and Skinner had arrived in Florence. They left an instruction to Jack Crawford to follow them after 24 hours to give them time to verify that Scully is really there with Hannibal in Florence. Their first step is to coordinate with the Polizia di Stato. They had requested access to their database and security cameras all over Florence. It will take a lot of their effort to scour them all but luckily for them, the police offered assistance. 

“Is this the woman you are looking for?” one of them asked Mulder.

He saw a blonde woman walking down the street of Florence in a very expensive blue coat with a matching hat. She definitely was a standout and catching attention from every men in the street. 

“Yes, that’s her. Can you get me more sightings of her?” Mulder answered and requested.

Lucky for them, Florence got surveillance in pretty much every public areas in the place. Scully was seen entering a store called Vera Dal 1926 where she purchased couple of grocery item before she was seen sitting by the train station. She did not purchase a ticker and boarded the train. She just sat by the bench for half an hour.

“What is she doing?” Skinner wondered.

Then, she turned towards the camera.

“She wants us to find her. She’s calling for attention”, Mulder concluded.

Scully cannot make a call without alerting Hannibal. Going to the police is a big no so her only option is being seen hoping that Mulder will be smart enough to know she’s in Florence, Italy.

“Keep following her. I need to know her routine”, Skinner instructed the officer.

Mulder can feel they are getting close. He will get her back. It became clear that she goes to the same store every other day for supply run. She always purchases the same things and she always pays in cash. It is done to avoid detection and if it was not for her incredibly standout fashion and her habit of sitting by the train station they wouldn’t have found her.

He waited the next morning for her to come to the store. Exactly nine in the morning, Scully came to Vera Dal and purchased the usuals. After which, Mulder started following her until she turned a cornered. It’s not part of her routine but he followed nonetheless. By the time he turned to the corner, she’s already waiting for him.

“Took you long enough”, she said.

She looked wearier than the last time he saw her. She may put on fancier clothes and put on a face for everyone to see that she’s very well put together but he can see past the mask. She’s spent in every single way.

“It was not easy to find someone if we don’t have a name to begin with”, he explained.

She just smiled a little. Of course, she knows that already.

“You got the confession footage?” she asked.

“I did. We can end your work here. Hannibal will be put away”, he answered.

She looked behind him and raised an eyebrow.

“…and yet you came here by yourself. Are you expecting to take him down on your own?” she remarked.

“We want to make sure we’ll find you first before calling for backup. Skinner is here in Florence with me. Give us the location of his whereabouts and then we’ll call Jack Crawford so we can make the arrest”, he explained further.

Scully handed him a card of Dr. Roman Fell.

“My lovely husband. He works as a curator at the Capponi Library. Our address is in there as well. Good luck, Mulder, and I hope the cavalry arrives sooner than later”, she said and started walking.

He wanted to stop her, ask her how she’s doing but he already got the answer he needed. She’s not doing fine and so he must get help as soon as possible.

“It’s me. I got confirmation. Call Jack Crawford”, he said on his phone as he walked back to where Skinner is.

\--------------------------------

The house is worryingly quiet. She is certain Hannibal is home. He always plays the piano at this hour so coming back to a quiet house is unusual. Few moments later, two men burst in the living room, brawling with each other. 

“What the hell is going on?” she exclaimed as she put down the bottle of champagne she just purchased.

Hannibal smirked at her and then landed a fist on the man’s face.

“My love, meet Rinaldo Pazzi, he’s a detective from Firenze”, another punch to the face, “He wants to sell me to Mason Verger!” he explained happily as he continued beating the man.

Mason Verger, the name rang in her ears. She remembered him telling her of a patient whose brother was abusive. Margot Verger…that’s right. Why does Mason Verger is willing to pay someone to catch him?

“You are breaking everything”, she noted.

The man got the upper hand and managed to hit Hannibal with one of the vases. After which, he launched at her and her head hit the edge of the table. She groaned in pain and she can feel the warm liquid dripping from her head down her face. Hannibal pulled the man away from her and started beating him again with more force now. The smugness in him is gone. He is completely furious. Scully is furious.

“Can you please get it over with?” she uttered while trying to adjust her vision.

She knew he’s going to kill him. The prolonging annoys her. Hannibal managed to wrap the curtain around his neck. Desperate for everything to over and angry for getting hurt, Scully gets up and holds on to the curtain and then kicked his head, breaking his neck in an instant. She let go of the curtain and almost fell down again if it was not for Hannibal catching her first.

“You just killed him”, he mentioned.

“Don’t act like that’s not where you’re heading. I am having a terrible headache. I got no time and patience to watch you play around”, she snapped.

A smirk played upon his lips and carried her in his arms to take her to the bathroom. She got a laceration on her head and she endured the pain as he stitched it up. It was a rather intimate setting for them, two doctors treating each other’s injuries. She can feel his concern for her and the protectiveness. She can also feel how her action made him proud. She killed a man who was trying to kill him. It is true that she has that side in her. Killing is getting easier for her. She has been with Hannibal for far too long and aside from that, she’s sleeping with him. She had fallen so far it’s going to be so hard to come back, if it’s even possible.

“Well, it will be rude of me not to thank you for saving my life. Thank you”, he muttered.

Did she really do that for him or for herself? She couldn’t bear to watch more violence and torture. Perhaps she did it out of compassion. She knows she cannot stop Hannibal from killing the man. He was dead set on it. It’s pretty clear that he intended to have fun before ending his life and she dared to care to intervene. She participated with more in depth manner. It’s more than just anticipating thoughts and actions. 

“You’re welcome”, she replied.

Hannibal is going to prison and she’s not certain if he’s even built for that kind of life. Of course, he deserves to pay for the things he did and continues to do but living under the same roof with him for months, she was able to get to know him as a human being capable of monstrous acts and not as a straight up monster. He acted as her protector when sometimes he had played with her sanity. He put his trust on her when it was not easy for him to do so and she’s about to betray that trust by bringing his downfall. Mulder will call Agent Crawford and in no time, the FBI will be coming to their front door to arrest him.

“Care to share your thoughts?” he asked when he noticed her thinking.

“People are dying, Hannibal. It will be noticed”, she expressed.

“You’re still worried about the life we built here. You’re worried I am disrupting it”, he guessed.

“I am worried it will not last”, she clarified.

It will not, she mused. She knows that for certain.

“Nothing lasts forever. That is one constant in the universe but the most precious things we found, we must cherish. It’s the memories that might last”, he explained.

She’s not falling for the man. To that fact, she is also certain. There’s always been one man for her and that’s constant throughout the years. Does she care for Hannibal Lecter? Yes, she does. The thing is, despite the danger he represents which enticed her other side, her calling to do her job is winning. After being exposed to his acts, the mystery of murder and cannibalism has been lost to her. In some way, he lost his mystery. Scully now knows everything about him, his past, his proclivities, everything. Desire is temporary. She knows that now. How foolish of her to satisfy her own when lives are perishing around her? 

“That is true. We should rest. I have a lecture to attend to and you have a lecture to prepare for”, she responded.

\------------------------------

Mulder and Skinner greeted Jack and four more agents at the airport. They already coordinated with the Italian government the said operation to apprehend Hannibal Lecter who is posing as Roman Fell.

“…another man died”, Jack said as they walked to the parking lot, “Rinaldo Pazzi, a detective from Firenze. His body was discovered at the window of his own apartment, hanging with the curtain wrapped around his neck”, he added.

“We’re not informed of that news”, Skinner muttered.

“It was not released to local police. Pazzi was a detective from Firenze. When I asked for jurisdiction over Hannibal Lecter, I was told that he was killed someplace else and was only brought to his apartment after he died. There had been emails sent to him by one M. Verger telling about a significant amount to catch Dr. Lecter. That M. Verger is Mason Verger, brother of one of his former patients, Margot Verger. Let’s just say he has been holding a big grudge for Dr. Lecter”, Jack explained.

The men got inside the car and drove off.

“So you mean to say, this dead detective was paid off by Mason Verger to catch Hannibal? Why him?” Mulder asked.

“Pazzi knew Dr. Lecter from way back. Apparently, Dr. Lecter spent his teenage years here in Florence”, 

Mulder handed him the card given to him by Scully.

“Where did you get this by the way?” he then asked.

Skinner glanced towards Mulder and nodded.

“Dr. Du Maurier”, he simply said.

Jack’s eyes lit up followed by a rush of curiosity.

“Dr. Bedelia Du Maurier is here with Dr. Lecter and she just gave you this? Don’t you think it’s strange? If she’s working with him, we might be walking into a trap”, he suggested.

“She’s not working with Dr. Lecter, Agent Crawford. I can assure you that”, Skinner countered.

The agent observed both Mulder and Skinner.

“What are you not telling me?” he finally asked.

It is about time they revealed who Scully really is. Of course, they are blowing up her cover but her job is about to be over.

“Dr. Bedelia Du Maurier is just a cover identity. Her real name is Special Agent Dana Scully. She works with us at Washington and she’s been working undercover for years to catch the Ripper”, Skinner answered.

“She provided me video recordings of her session with Hannibal and in one of those, he admitted to framing Will Graham and being the Ripper. It took her years to get that. She had to establish trust and get into his head by pretending to be on his side. That’s why she had to lie to you when you questioned her. It was only when Will Graham was framed that she was able to get him to confess on record”, Mulder profounded.

“Well, I’ll be damned”, he sighed, “Let’s get that son of a bitch”, Jack declared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry took me awhile to follow up on this one...got occupied with other ideas and work. Here it is.


	13. The Arrest

The lecture was a success as usual for Hannibal. Scully could not deny his intellect and his ability to learn fast. He quickly adapted into the life of Roman Fell. It’s like he’s been a curator for a long time. The others applauded him for minutes and congratulated him afterwards. She watched at a distance, allowing him to relish the fame and compliments. Ever since they assumed the identities of the Fells, he got embroidered into appearances and reputations. It became important to him to be respected and be accepted by others. It’s all about aesthetics.

“Would you like to stop by for dinner before going home?” she asked while they’re inside the car.

“You don’t like me to cook for you?” he asked her back.

He always does the cooking and she always enjoys it. It’s one of his honed skills. Of course, she preferred the meat to be anything but human. 

“I love your cooking, dear, but we never dine out. Florence got a lot to offer. It’s not bad to try something new every once in a while”, she answered.

It put a smile on his face as he held her hand.

“I apologize for not asking you out on a date properly. You deserve to be courted”, he apologized.

She almost scoffed at that.

“Darling, we are not in college anymore. Courtship is only for naïve people who think life is a fairytale. We both know better. I don’t mind skipping the dating part but I would appreciate visiting restaurants here and there”, she expressed.

The use of endearing words surprised even her. She had called him dear and darling in one conversation. How is she supposed to proceed with sending him to prison if she’s acting like his wife?

“I would not mind courting and pampering you every single day, but for tonight, a nice dinner at a nice restaurant will do”, he agreed and told the driver to take them to a restaurant instead.

She’s just buying time. If she’s being honest, she’s just prolonging her time with him. He will be put away in a very long time, probably forever if he’s not going to be given the death sentence. One dinner won’t kill anyone unless someone pissed him off.

Hannibal managed to talk to the restaurant’s manager to give them a table. They got no reservation but his growing reputation as curator gave him special treatment. The place is fancy, expensive. She found her lavish side enjoying it. She should be guilty. She’s living a life of another person and she’s having fun with it. They ordered the restaurant’s finest, drank the most expensive wine. They talked about things they used to talk about when they were meeting for coffee every afternoon back in Baltimore. It was easy. They conversed about everything from science to politics to arts. He proposed vacation plans to her of touring Europe. He said that he got so much to show her. She’s not much of a traveler back in the day. Europe has never been part of any case she worked on back in the X Files so everything sounds so new for her. His descriptions of Greek and Roman cultures entice her. She wants to go with him. She wants to explore the world with him. She wants to experience life and experience that it’s not too late for her to actually have one.

It’s not the reality though. No matter how much she wants to. Hannibal is a wanted criminal, a murderer and a cannibal. He had killed more than anyone she had met. Underneath the polished exterior and graceful manners, he is a coldblooded killer. It is foolish of her to indulge her dark side and allowed him to drag her to hell but it had helped in getting proof that he’s the killer she’s after. No one will be able to catch him if she had not done what she did. She knows that now. She still feels guilty and bad about killing Neal Frank and Rinaldo Pazzi but she cannot undo any of those things. It’s already done.

“Thank you for taking me to that place. It was wonderful”, she said when they got back to the car.

“Anything for you”, he replied and kissed the back of her hand.

Her chest is literally in pain. She’s going to betray him and she’s feeling bad about it. She should not be feeling this way. Undercover agents should not be attached to their targets, but she and Hannibal had been bound by darkness, by horrible pasts. Hannibal went through a horrible ordeal in the past just like her. The only difference between the two of them is that he allowed that past to mold him into the person he is right now. She did not. She controlled herself, tampered her impulses, buried the darkness deep within her. She did not allow the things she went through turn her into a monster because if she would only let it, god only knows what will become of her.

The sight of the lights at the park caught her eyes. She had never been there at night. She walked past through that park bunch of times and she never appreciated its beauty until now. Perhaps it’s always like that with life. You will never appreciate things around you until they are about to be gone. Once her job is over, she will never see that park again. Hannibal is about to be arrested and she’s now appreciating what he means to her, what he is without the monstrosity.

“Would you like to stop for a moment to take a walk?” he asked when she noticed her staring at the park.

“I think that’s lovely. We should walk the rest of the way. It’s a good night”, she answered.

The two got off the car at the park and sent the driver home. It is a beautiful night. The sky is clear, the wind is gentle. There is a cold breeze, but Hannibal wrapped his arm around her to give her warmth. 

“This is nice. I wonder why we have not done this before”, she muttered as they walked slowly.

“Well, one thing, we’ve been busy settling and second, there had been few hiccups”, he replied.

By hiccups, he meant Antony Dimmond and Rinaldo Pazzi. Lives ended are hiccups for Hannibal Lecter.

“We should have done this before”, she reiterated.

She had walked the streets of Florence by herself. It’s not the same with having someone by her side.

“We will, if this makes you happy”, he agreed.

She turned to him.

“Does this make you happy?” she asked.

She knows simple things like that would not suffice for him. He has a specific appetite that is hard to satisfy. 

“Making you happy makes me happy. It gives me pleasure knowing I can put a smile on your face”, he answered.

Is this really happening? Why is he saying this now?

“I think there are lots of things that gives you pleasure than just my smile”, she said with an eyebrow raised.

…like playing mind games with her, bringing out her dark side.

“That is true but for once, I found something that worth holding back my impulses. It is hard. I will not deny that but I am trying”, he explained.

She leaned towards him, not to keep herself warm but to feel him more. She knows he is trying but she cannot keep him. It would not be fair for the people he killed and their families. She is still an FBI agent no matter what identity she wears. The law and justice must prevail. She already had been selfish enough for prolonging this assignment. She could have found another way to get evidence on him but she got swayed aside by Hannibal. Going back to her old life would mean being chased again by government conspirators, aliens, and lies but that’s the life she chose in the first place. She chose it because she believes in enforcing the law, setting free the truth from those who wants to hide it. She must get control back and stop fondling with darkness. 

“Are you ready to go back home?” he asked.

Scully closed her eyes and sighed. She took a deep breath and braced herself.

“Yes, darling”, there it is again.

He held her tighter and together they walked back to their home. 

\----------------------------------

Their place is dark. They did not expect to be back so late. Scully turned on the lights one by one while Hannibal hangs their coats at the rack.

“I will go and change”, she informed him and went to her bedroom.

She cannot wear the tight gown throughout the night. She picked up a black dress which hugged her body nicely and let her hair loose.

“Good evening, Dr. Fell…or should I say, Dr. Lecter?” she heard someone said outside.

Her hand found the drawer and she held on to it for support.

“Impressive work Agent Crawford. You found me”, she heard Hannibal replied.

By the tone of his voice, she already knows he is planning on killing him.

“It’s time to go back home, Dr. Lecter”, Agent Crawford said.

“You’re going to have to force me, Agent Crawford”, Hannibal replied.

Scully prayed that Agent Crawford did not come alone. Hannibal wouldn’t fight if he knows he’s outnumbered.

“Then that’s what we will do”, she heard Mulder came in.

Her breathing hitched. It’s happening. She knew it’s going to go down tonight. It’s just a feeling but it’s right.

“I see. You all come prepared”, Hannibal muttered.

It took some time before she heard the sound of handcuffs clicking. It was then she decided that it’s time to remove her personal person suit. She walked out of her room and found them all in the living room: Agent Crawford, Mulder, Skinner, and three other agents surrounding Hannibal whose hands are handcuffed behind his back.

“Good evening, Dr. Du Maurier”, Agent Crawford greeted.

Her eyes found Hannibal’s. For the first time, she saw regret and it’s not regret for the things he has done. It’s regret that they were found and that all the plans he made for them were now shattered. She knew Agent Crawford already knew who she really is. It’s obvious in his expression but he’s still protecting her cover.

“Good evening, Agent Crawford”, she greeted back but her voice cracked at the end.

Hannibal thought of that as fear on her part. 

“Treat her well. She’s been a nice captive”, he lied.

She is no captive. She went with him willingly and he’s now covering for her without knowing it was her who brought his downfall.

“No wonder she’s so hard to find. Can’t live without your shrink?” Mulder played along.

“I found her company worth keeping”, Hannibal snapped.

Skinner was looking at her carefully. This is the first time they’re seeing each other in years. 

“Are you going to let us pack at least before leaving?” she asked them.

Time…she needs time.

“We got time to spare for transport. Dr. Lecter will go first. I will accompany him”, Agent Crawford agreed.

“I will stay with her. Agent Mulder can go with you”, Skinner suddenly said.

Hannibal took one last look of apology towards her before he was taken outside. She lets out a breath she was not aware she’s holding back the entire time.

“Scully…Dana…” Skinner called.

He’s being very careful with her.

“Long time no see, Walter”, she muttered.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Right now? No. I’ll be okay. Just give me some time. This is not over yet”, she answered.

His hand found her shoulder but she forced herself to hold her tears back. She is not going to break down. It’s not the end of it.

“Let me help you pack”, he offered.

“That would be nice. Thank you”, she accepted.

Together, they packed all of her things in silence. It was decided that Hannibal’s things will be left at the house but she decided to pack a small bag for him. She picked out his favorites before loading the bags in the rental car.

“Let’s go back to Baltimore”, Skinner announced.


	14. Identity Crisis

BALTIMORE

She insisted on going back to her house rather than staying in a hotel. It is her home after all. She bought it with her own money. It may have been registered to Bedelia’s name but it’s hers. She did invite Skinner and Mulder to stay with her if they like but out of chivalry and consideration for her situation, Skinner declined allowing Mulder to accept the offer.

He wanted to make sure she will be alright. He is no mind reader and he certainly does not know how to act around her right now after being apart for so many years but he is certain it could not be easy for her to do her job after spending so much time with Hannibal. Also, the fact that he knows she had been sleeping with him tells him Hannibal became more than just a target for Scully. She had been attached and she betrayed him and put him behind bars.

“I would offer you a drink but I am afraid I am out of stock”, she said, talking in a way Bedelia Du Maurier does.

He can see she still has the façade on. The way she moves, the way she talks, everything about her is not Dana Scully. She is securing herself behind the wall of Bedelia.

“That’s fine. Water will do”, he said.

She did not smile nor react. She just fetch a glass and poured water into it and handed it to him. Mulder caught her hand and held it. He saw a glimpse of Scully through the cracks of her protective wall. He saw pain and confusion and shame. It was for a brief moment though. She closed off quickly.

“The guest room is to the right upstairs. I will turn in. We have an early appointment tomorrow”, she said and started walking away.

“Scully, wait”, he called and she stopped moving. “Can we talk? I mean, you can talk and I can just listen. You don’t have to carry it all by yourself. I am here”, he persuaded.

He wants her to stop bottling it all up. God knows how long she’s been doing that. Being undercover agent for years has a lifelong side effect and he’s afraid of what this area of their field will do to her.

“Even if I want to talk, I am too tired, Mulder. It has been a long day. Well, it has been that for some time now. I just want to take a warm bath and sleep. We can talk tomorrow if you like”, she replied.

She’s being polite and patient. It’s a honed skill. She’s been very good at being a psychiatrist.

“You better rest then. I will not bother you for tonight”, he gave in.

\--------------------------------

Scully couldn’t help but compare her bathtub to what she used to have back in Florence. That golden, vintage tub she spent hours every single night into while Hannibal washed her hair for her has been her favorite tub ever. Being in her bathroom gave her a sense of home but it’s incomplete. Has she really become too dependent on Hannibal? For years, she grown to revert to being independent, not needing anyone. She freed herself from needing Mulder’s approval only to fall to Hannibal’s mercy. She and her need for powerful men in her life.

When she lied down on her bed, it felt different. Damn it! She cursed. Hannibal really did leave a mark on her. She kept chasing the warmth he provided during their nights together. How could she seek comfort from a killer? Let alone a cannibal? Is she really that twisted? Perhaps, Neal Frank was right of his assessment of her. She’s just as twisted as Hannibal, maybe even more. After all, she outsmarted him and he’s the one in an institution right now behind bars. Hannibal once wondered what else she’s capable of. She now knows he’s not talking about killing. He was certain she can kill if she wants to. He was talking about what other things she’s capable of in terms of her conscience, her morality, her soul. 

She had left her life and accepted a job that basically erased her life to protect Mulder’s life and her own. She compromised herself when she bent her moral compass for Hannibal and toyed with the FBI while she’s at it. Now, she betrayed Hannibal for the institution she betrayed before for him. Manipulation becomes her mastered skill over the years. Being able to jump into one role then to the next became so natural for her, there’s no need to even adapt. Who is Dana Scully again anyway? Medical doctor? FBI agent? Mulder’s partner? Someone who got abducted and experimented on and because of that she can no longer have child? Those are things found on a file. That’s how it comes to describing her old self. She lost her sense of self along the way. She is what she’s needed to be. Now, it’s all coming to an end. After Hannibal’s been sentenced, her job in Baltimore will be over. She is not sure whether she will get assigned to another undercover assignment or Skinner and Mulder will force Kersh to get her back to D.C. but her life as Bedelia will come to an end and she has to become someone else again.

Fucking identity crisis in a literal sense…

Where is whisky or wine when she needed it most? Scully jolted out of bed and rummaged her drawer to get her hidden pack of cigarette in one of her secret compartments in her drawer. She had asked the designer specifically for such furniture. She hinted it as a hiding spot for her sex toys but really it’s for her secret indulgence which was cigarette and her untraceable phone to contact Kersh whenever she needed to. It is also where she hid the video recordings she took during her session with Hannibal.

Scully went down the kitchen and turned on the exhaust fan. It’s the flaw of having a house with no balcony. She lit the cigarette and inhaled the nicotine straight to her lungs and she felt a sense of familiarity. How long has it been since she last smoked? She did not touch any back in Paris and Florence. The habit took her back to her days in Annapolis when she used to sneak out to smoke her mother’s cigarette or back in some cheap old motel when she used to smoke in secret whenever she’s stressed about an X File she and Mulder were working at the time. It reminded her of her old life and it put a faint smile on her lips. That is not something you will find on a file. She inhaled more, relishing the calming effect of the stick. 

“You still haven’t kicked that habit of yours, huh”, Mulder suddenly said.

He did not startle her and she did not hide it from him either. She just glanced over to him and shrugged.

“Bad habits are hard to let go”, she replied and resumed smoking.

He walked closer to her and grabbed a glass for them both and poured whisky on them. She shot him a look which he replied with a smirk.

“Found it in my luggage. Consider yourself lucky”, he explained and handed the glass to her.

Scully felt the burn down her throat and it added to her relief.

“That’s nice. Thank you”, she said.

“Couldn’t sleep?” he asked.

He knows she told him they will talk tomorrow but she is not sleeping yet so he figured she wanted to talk even though she’s not admitting it.

“In a nutshell yes…this has been my home but it felt a little bit different and the more I think about it, the more I realize that I will have to let go of this place because this is not really my home”, she answered and took another puff.

“No, this is not your home”, he agreed.

She looked at him with such curiosity.

“Where then? I am not sure where it is anymore”, she asked.

The question took him back, but it also saddened him. This is what he’s afraid of for her. She’s been undercover for so long, she’s starting to lose herself.

“They say home is where your heart is. I know it’s a bit cheesy but it has some truth in it. People can live anywhere but their hearts must belong to the place in order for them to call it home”, he said.

He does hope her heart still belongs back in D.C. or at least includes him. He’s hoping she will come back. Skinner already expressed his desire to push Kersh to transfer her back to X Files. He saw firsthand how the job has taken its toll on her and he cannot bear to let her be assigned to another undercover assignment and start all over again.

“That’s going to be hard. I have lived so many lives, been very good at it. To be honest, I also fell in love with Baltimore. I really adore this house. That’s why I bought it myself. If heart is the one to decide, it’s going to take a while. I am still in the process of picking up its pieces”, she expressed.

Is she broken hearted because of Hannibal? He wanted to ask but he’s not sure if the question is welcome. Did she love him?

“Skinner wants you back in D.C. I think Kersh will have a hard time with him pressuring him”, Mulder informed her.

She expected as much. She saw it in Skinner’s eyes back in Florence. He was worried too much. Perhaps, he saw someone else other than his agent and it bothered him so much. 

“That depends on Kersh…I would not get my hopes up. He’s keen on keeping me on the field. As far as I know, it’s the only thing that kept us both alive up to this point”, she said.

“Keeping us apart to stop us from working on the X Files, I know. That’s why Diana was assigned back there, to derail me. I know that now. I asked her to leave, Scully. She’s gone”, he said.

“…but the danger of us being together is not”, she argued.

“Scully, you’re basically being sent to different lion’s den every single assignment with no backup on site. I think danger is your playground”, he teased.

It did put a smile on her face. Only him can make her smile on the gravity of her situation.

“That is true. Still, it’s up to Kersh what I will do next. I will not contest it if he puts me to another assignment and I hope that you will not either”, she said.

Mulder really hopes Skinner can pull it off. He hates to let her go again and if she gets another assignment, her location will be confidential once again and god knows when he will see her again. Their meeting now is purely coincidental, maybe. If it was not for the X Files nature of Hannibal’s case, he would not be sent to Baltimore and he would not see her again.

“Have faith on our old friend. Skinner has his ways, you know”, he muttered.

Scully drank some more until she downed the entire glass.

“I hope you’re right”, he frowned at the almost pleading sound of her voice. “Transitioning to another person is a little bit exhausting at this point”, she gave him a weak smile before putting out her cigarette and left him at the kitchen.

He debated what to do next so while thinking, he decided to wash their glasses before gently opening her bedroom door. He was right. She’s still awake. Scully was not surprised to see him standing in her room. It’s like she expected him to be there at all.

“If you intend to stay, please close the door”, she muttered.

Mulder obliged and closed the door. He has been to her room before. He knows about her secret drawer compartments and he had found her cigarette before. 

“Do you want me to be here?” he asked, unsure on how to act around her this time.

Back then, he does not need to ask. It was so easy for them. She scooted with him on his couch at his apartment and he did the same with her on her sofa at her place. There’s no need for asking for permission. It’s just their flow. This time is different. They became different person or at least she had changed so much. He had been wiser, he supposed. He is now more open and understanding to his surroundings than before when he would put his own pursuit above everything else. Scully surely has grown. She has broader experience to him about life, the world, the job. Her taste in things had changed too. What if she does not like to spend time with him anymore?

“I would not leave the door unlocked if I don’t want you here, Mulder. Stop acting so weird”, she answered.

“I am not weird. I am Spooky”, he teased.

She smiled at hearing his old nickname. After all, she was branded as Mrs. Spooky herself.

“Come over here. I am cold”, she ordered.

He lay down beside her and wrapped his arm around her to keep her warm. She’s not kidding about being cold.

“Goodnight, Spooky”, she muttered.

“Goodnight, Mrs. Spooky”, he replied and together they went to sleep.


	15. Admission

BALTIMORE STATE HOSPITAL FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE

Scully and Mulder arrived for Hannibal’s interrogation. Agent Crawford is already inside with him separated by a glass window which is a testament of the danger Hannibal poses. He is not wearing straitjacket but his hands are on cuffs tied to the floor. There is vacant and cold look in his eyes and she can see that the beast is back in him with no restraints. 

“The evidence is strong against you, Dr. Lecter. It will help you to admit to your crimes”, Crawford said.

Hannibal did not speak. He just kept on looking on Agent Crawford, analyzing him.

Behind the glass, Mulder, Skinner and Scully watched. The two men are wary of her presence but none of them said a thing. Then, she took a step back and turned around.

“Call me if he said anything”, she said and walked away.

“Where are you going?” Mulder asked.

“…to pay someone a visit”, she answered.

\---------------------------------

PATIENT ROOM

The nurse assisted Scully with the door. She said her thanks and went in to see Will Graham who is sitting by the bed, neatly folding his clothes. He is going to be discharged today after months of treatment and counseling. He looked healthier than the last time they saw each other in the same building. The man gave her a smile upon seeing her.

“Ah, now what should I call you?” he asked.

Crawford must have told him already.

“Agent Scully…my name is Special Agent Dana Scully”, she answered and took a seat on the only chair in the room.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Agent Scully. I never got the chance to say thank you for visiting me last time and for saying those things. It had helped me a lot and when Jack told me who you really are, I knew you’re going to get him one way or another”, he said.

She just felt relieved that he’s doing fine. She had to sacrifice him and let him get locked up for a moment to get Hannibal but it’s her way of saving him from his influence.

“It’s not without a price”, she muttered.

“You already know that in this entire building, I am the only one who can understand that sentence without a doubt”, he commented.

She smiled briefly.

“Yes, you’re right”, she affirmed.

“Hannibal lives in a very tempting world. It is a world of no rules, no restrictions, no restraints. It is by all definition, free. I see the appeal and I am sure you do too but unlike him, we got something else to live for, something that keep us from drowning”, he said.

She frowned.

“…and what’s that?” she asked.

“People that care about us”, she detected a faint smile on his lips. “It took me a while to realize that but it’s true, even for an anti-social weirdo like me. Jack, Alana, my friends and colleagues…they all care about me and wanted me to be better. You cared. I would not be here if you did not. Agent Mulder and A.D. Skinner care about you too. They went great deal of work to find you. If you still have family, I bet they care about you too. Hannibal Lecter does not have any of those left. He lost them very early on and so there’s no one left to hold him back. The thrill and sensation are the only things he lives for”, he answered.

She remembered her mother whom she left before she started working undercover. It’s been years since she last saw her. She tried in her clandestine way to send her greetings during her birthdays and on Christmas but that’s not the same thing as being there with her. Will Graham was right. Hannibal does not have that. 

“Does being locked up here make you wiser all of a sudden?” she teased and they both laughed.

“I guess so. It’s funny how crossing paths with a cannibalistic psychopath killer bound us together”, he noticed.

“That is funny and also tragic. I have done things I am not proud of”, she admitted.

He looked at her in sympathy.

“I am not one to judge. You don’t get to spend time with the devil and come out with clean hands. What’s important is what you do after you got out. Do you let the darkness still reigns over you or do you take charge over your impulses and be better?” he said.

“You should consider the psychiatry field. You’re very good at it”, he chuckled, “Anyway, he’s being questioned as we speak but he’s not talking”,

“He is going to with you”, he said.

“I know. I am just buying time to gather all the courage I need before I face him. You’re welcome to watch and listen if you want to”, she replied.

It is important. It is closure for him.

“I appreciate that. Thank you, and good luck with the interrogation”, he said.

\----------------------------------

INTERROGATION ROOM

When she got back, there’s still no progress. Jack Crawford is obviously frustrated by Hannibal’s silent treatment. He’s not giving him anything. He so badly wants to hear him say he did all the things they’re accusing him, to give justice to his victims but if he will not say a thing, he will mostly likely be locked up in an institution rather than jail. Since Maryland abolished death sentence, Jack was hoping for a life sentence for Hannibal.

“Let me go in”, Scully suddenly said.

Both Mulder and Skinner shot her a look.

“No”, Mulder was first to say.

“Excuse me?” she asked with an eyebrow raised.

“You’re not going in there”, he expanded.

“Last time I checked, I don’t answer to you, Agent Mulder”, she snapped and pushed him to the professional life.

He flinched at her use of his title making things between them nothing but work-related.

“Agent Scully, you’re work is an undercover agent. If you go in there, you’re going to reveal your identity to Dr. Lecter and your involvement in his arrest. You’re going to put yourself at risk”, Skinner tried to explain.

She turned to him and gave him a brief smile.

“He already knows who I am, sir. He just thought that I betrayed the bureau for the danger he offers. I don’t think I am blowing up anything by going in there. If you want him to talk, I need to be in there”, she expressed.

Mulder and Skinner looked at each other. Mulder knows that she has a point but his protective side is kicking in. He wants to protect her from further subjecting herself into torture of living multiple lives.

“Fine. We do it your way”, Skinner yielded.

The door opened and Hannibal’s eyes widened a bit upon seeing her enter the room. Jack Crawford looked stunned as well but did not say a thing. Scully took the seat beside Jack slowly, averting her eyes from Hannibal. When she’s finally settled, she then turned to him and saw the questions in his eyes. He wanted to know if he’s alright. It is a wonder how fast she got attuned to his expressions that one look is enough for him to convey what he wants to say to her. She simply nodded and he relaxed.

“A motivation might help, perhaps?” Crawford said to him.

Hannibal glared at Jack with such intensity, Scully was sure if he could, Jack would have been dead by now.

“Threat her one more time and you’re the first person I will cut open when I get out of here”, he finally spoke.

It is to Jack Crawford’s delight. She was right. All they need is her to break his silence.

“He speaks! Good of you to finally join us, Dr. Lecter”, Jack exclaimed.

Mulder and Skinner paid more attention this time as Will Graham quietly walked behind them to watch the questioning.

“Now, in light of the evidences against you, I will give you the opportunity to own up your actions and tell us why you did those horrid crimes”, Jack said.

Hannibal did not even blink.

“I think you’re bluffing about evidence, Agent Crawford”, he muttered.

“You doubt that we have them?” Jack asked.

“I think you don’t have anything on me”, he stated.

“Actually, we have your admission of your crimes and your work in framing up Will Graham”, Jack added.

Hannibal does not seem fazed. 

“…and how is that even possible? I never admitted anything to anyone”, he denied.

Jack just hummed and leaned back his chair

“Yes, you did”, Hannibal turned to her in a flash, “you made an admission to me. I recorded all of our sessions including that last conversation by the fireplace at my house. You admitted to framing Will Graham and being the Ripper. You confessed and I handed over that video recording to the FBI so yes, they have evidence on you”, she cut in.

He frowned at her. She can see the betrayal registered in his eyes.

“Well, isn’t that a twist…” his tone got colder, “You’re much better than I thought. I completely underestimated your skills, Dana”, he muttered

She felt Crawford flinched at him calling her by her real name. Perhaps, he does not know that Hannibal was aware of her identity like Skinner. It makes her work incredibly blurred. Well, to be honest, the entire assignment is nothing but blurred.

“That you did. You knew who I am and what I do but your desire to turn me into something akin to your type was so much stronger than your eyes. I was right in front of you and you did not see me”, she said.

“No. I was not trying to turn you into something akin to my type. You’ve been there already. I was trying to unveil your true potential, the darkness within you, you try so hard to suppress when we both know your capabilities are beyond my own”, he replied.

They stared at each in silence. She’s prepared. If he’s going to drag her name down the mud, she’s willing to accept the   
consequences of her actions.

“How’s your success rate?” she asked baiting him to say more.

It was a challenge on her part for him to do the cliché. Exposing her participation to his crimes is the only logical step for him.

“Stable…I would say I did a terrific job although I failed to see how great your restraints are”, he answered.

“It’s something you’re lacking”, she commented.

“…and you have that abundantly which makes you more fascinating than everyone else. You suppress and suppress until your heart is already full of dark impulses. Now, it’s my only wish to watch you explode. I bet that’s a marvelous sight”, he expressed.

“Another wish of yours that will not be fulfilled”, the grin on his face diminished. “You will be locked up for the rest of your life with nothing but memories of those days I betrayed you under your nose. You can add it up to your list of failures like turning Will Graham into a killer. He’s doing better. The turmoil in his heart has subsided and he’s not becoming anything resembling you. You will be locked up while the world will keep on turning, lives will keep on moving forward and you will be forgotten as you rot in your cell, paying for the crimes you did”, she taunted.

Hannibal snapped and tried to launch towards the glass but the cuffs and chains stopped him.

“I will not be kept in here forever. When I get out, I will not eat you hastily like the others. I will make sure that you’re aware as I devour you piece by piece!” he exclaimed.

Scully leaned back satisfied on her chair. 

“There’s your live admission”, she said to Jack and left.


	16. Last Day in Baltimore

The DA seemed to be happy about the admission made by Hannibal in both video recording and during the interrogation. Scully had been very busy throughout the day drafting her report as the undercover agent who nailed Hannibal down. Her appearance in court will not be required to protect her job detail as undercover agent. Meanwhile, Jack Crawford was still left baffled with the discovery of the fact that Hannibal knew all along who Scully really is.

“I don’t understand. He knew she’s an FBI agent. Why didn’t he kill her? He knew she’s here for him”, he asked both Mulder and Skinner.

The latter is as puzzled as he is but not Mulder. His profiler brain already figured it out just like Scully.

“It’s the same thing she said in there. He wanted to turn her into something like him. It’s what he does to his patients with potential for violence. He manipulates them until they gave in to their dark impulses and commit a crime. He saw potential in her”, he answered.

Jack worked it out in his brain.

“The patient that attacked her…he was referred to her by Dr. Lecter. It’s one of that manipulation, isn’t it?” he asked.

Skinner frowned. He’s not aware of that details. He was informed that Scully was attacked once by a patient but manipulation by Hannibal Lecter?

“Dr. Lecter somewhat saw a piece of himself in her. A troubled past, desire to escape and be someone else…he wanted to drag her down to the darkness with him. I am not sure if that’s unspoken loneliness on his part. He wants a companion and he thought it could be Scully. You saw how protective he was with her back in Florence. He tried to cover up for her. The difference with them is that despite the potential, Scully got a great amount of control left in her. She dove into darkness with him but she was able to come back to the surface and do her job”, Mulder said.

A new level of admiration and empathy filled Jack for Scully. He saw what Hannibal has done to Will and he’s only been a patient of his for months. Scully was Hannibal’s psychiatrist for years, even lived with him in Florence. Hannibal was right. Her level of restraint is astonishing. They could have stayed hidden forever but thanks to her, Mulder and Skinner was able to find them.

\---------------------------------

HANNIBAL’S ROOM

It’s probably not wise but Mulder needs to speak with him. He is not sure why. It’s probably jealousy, a petty desire to gloat that he cannot have Scully anymore but it could be more than that. His psychologist mind wanted to know how his mind works. He truly believes that evil is never born. It is made. Judging from the files Scully gave him about Hannibal’s background, something terrible happened to him back then and that created Hannibal Lecter. It created The Ripper.

“Dr. Lecter”, he called.

No longer in cuffs and chains, Hannibal turned around to face him. The two of them are separated by a metal door with bulletproof glass.

“Agent Mulder, I know we’ve met before but it’s nice to finally talk to you one-on-one”, Hannibal said.

Mulder can see the spite in his gaze. Maybe he feels jealousy towards him as well.

“I wanted to see you before we leave. Agent Scully had informed me a lot about you. It would be a shame to go now without having a talk to you”, he said.

A grin formed on his lips.

“Ah, dearest Dana…how is she? Quiet? Cold? Your institution already have done a number on her and you worked your way in dragging her back down again. She would have been fine with me but you got into the scene and pulled her back”, Hannibal expressed.

Is he trying to tell him that Scully really did cross to the other side before he got to Baltimore? It is possible considering how long she stalled on the assignment. She lasted years working as Bedelia Du Maurier. She’s being quiet and distant since they got back from Florence. Did he really do her justice by pulling her away from darkness only to drag her to another form of darkness in his world?

“You were molding her into becoming a murderer like you. How’s that she’s better off with you? You’re more damaging to her”, Mulder argued.

Hannibal laughed at that.

“You seriously believe that she’s not already a murderer? I must agree that she has considerable amount of self-control but the guts to kill is already inside of her before she met me. I only made her realize of it. I set her free and you’re caging her true self again”, he argued back.

Mulder remembered Pfaster. That night in her apartment when he rushed in after hearing the same music she had been hearing throughout that day. The monster was right there in her living room and he got his gun pointed at an unarmed fetishist when Scully came out of her bedroom all bloody and bruised. The piece of cloth he used to gag her mouth still hanged around her neck. She did not even see him. Her eyes were fixated on the man who just attempted to kill her and mutilated her body. Then, he heard four gunshots which hit her lights. Pfaster fell lifeless on the floor and Mulder saw Scully standing there like a statue while holding her gun still pointed at the spot where Pfaster once stood upon. In that moment of despair and anger, she snapped and killed her attacker without hesitation. Her mind was made up since she came out of her room, since she picked up her gun. She was going to kill him and she did.

She later on told him what’s bothering her. She was wondering what’s at work within her: good or evil. He did not answer. He’s not sure what to say. They never talked about that incident again. Thinking about it now and the way Hannibal had analyzed her, the possibility of Scully turning into something much more dangerous than the man in front of him is far greater. 

“You’re wrong”, Hannibal raised an eyebrow at him, “You don’t know her, not entirely. You’ve met her at a difficult time in her life but she’s been through worse. You may have managed to persuade her once or twice but her will persevere and she managed to free herself from your influence. That is Dana Scully. She’s a fighter. You have no idea of the shits she went through and there could be number of times when she could just snap, and it would be justifiable but she did not. It was not self-control. It was strength. She’s a lot stronger than you or any of us. This whole experience will scar her. That’s true. It would only mean she’s normal but this will not break her”,

Hannibal’s expression grew darker.

“Unlike you, she got people who will not let her disappear. There are people who love and care about her. I now understand you, Dr. Lecter. Before, I thought you’re just an angry man who is lashing out on the world because of what happened to you and your sister. I was wrong. You’re just nothing but a lonely man who craves companionship from anyone who would indulge you and if the person you like would not, then, you will do everything in your power to make him or her. I don’t doubt for a second that you did care about Scully. I know you did, still probably do, but you cannot have her. You cannot have people this way because by manipulating them, you don’t really have them. In the end, it’s all nothing but an illusion and you’re just fooling yourself”, he said.

It is rare that anyone can render Hannibal Lecter speechless but Mulder nailed every single thing about him.

“Goodbye, Dr. Lecter. I hope in another life, you will be finally happy and loved”, Mulder said and left a stunned Hannibal Lecter.

\-------------------------------

BEDELIA’S HOUSE

Mulder found Scully back at the house. Skinner had informed him at the hospital that she went home right after she submitted her report and statement to the DA. They will drive out in a few hours and he knows that she wanted to cherish few hours left she has on the house. She was at the living room, sitting by the fireplace. Her clothes have already been packed up in three suitcases on the hallway. 

“They told me you went to see him at the hospital”, she muttered without looking at him.

Her eyes are fixated at the fireplace without the fire.

“Yes, I did”, he went to sit across from her, “I wanted to, I don’t know, understand why”, he confirmed.

She finally turned to him.

“What is it that you want to understand, Mulder?” she asked.

He noticed that she already dropped her Bedelia façade. Scully is back talking to him.

“Why he did not kill you after learning who you are…it was plausible that he wanted to turn you like him but I believe there’s more to it than that and I was right”, he answered.  
She hummed.

“I did hope that I could help him, you know. Back in Florence, I knew it was possible to tame the beast within him. He proved that he could restraint his impulses. The man he killed there, Antony Dimmond, had put his hand on me without permission. Hannibal killed him in my honor. The detective…well, he was there to catch him so you can understand why…” she sighed in defeat, “It’s not a justification but I saw a possibility that he can change but that would have been unfair for the people he had killed and the lives he destroyed”, she explained.

“Would you have let him go if he had changed?” he asked.

“I don’t trust myself not to, so I had to put a stop to it. I have a job to do”, she answered with a weak smile.

“You’re not like him, Scully. I know you must have thought yourself that way after the things you went through but I know you. I’ve always known your heart. You had the chance to be free from any responsibility and do whatever the hell you want but you came back to the light and did the right thing. Someone like Hannibal will never be able to do that. That’s your power. It’s called strength. You’ve always been so strong even back then”, he said.

Scully smiled at him genuinely. 

“Oh, Mulder…you always know how to talk me into being nicer towards you”, she teased.

He chuckled.

“Of course, wouldn’t want you to completely dismiss my outrageous supernatural theories”, he teased back.

They both laughed at that.

“I’m going to miss this house”, she mused out loud.

“I promise to come with you when you decide to buy new one”, he offered.

She raised an eyebrow at him.

“You? You hate house tripping”, she remarked.

“I hate doing it alone. I don’t mind doing it with you though”, he explained.

Leaving her house felt a little lighter now. It’s just a house, she told herself. 

“Well, the realtor said she already found someone interested to buy this place so better get ready with your promise”, she said.

“Oh, I’m ready”, he replied.

\-------------------------------

HOOVER BUILDING

It’s been so long since she last set foot at the infamous building. Agents looked at her with wide eyes. They did not bother seeing the Ice Queen once again after for so long. She’s still tired after an exhausting work at Baltimore but Kersh had insisted on seeing her as soon as she gets back to D.C. so here she is, back again at the bureau.

“Agent Scully?” Kersh’s secretary muttered upon seeing her.

It’s a surprise to see that she’s still working there, on the same post for years. 

“I am here to see Deputy Director Kersh. He’s expecting me”, she said.

The secretary hurried to Kersh’s office to inform him of her presence. When she gets back, she held the door for her.

“Deputy Director Kersh will see you now, Agent Scully”, she said.

Scully is then seen entering Kersh’s office so they can discuss her future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know the Pfaster storyline was in season 7 and this story took off from season 5 but it was a cool plot to add in this one so take it easy guys :-)


	17. Welcome Back Part 1

KERSH’S OFFICE

Her boss for so many years and her only contact in her actual life looks at her like she’s a different person or someone he did not expect to see so soon. 

“Have a seat, Agent”, he said and she obliged settling on the chair across from him.

She noticed how uneasy he is in her presence unlike the man who used to display his authority on anyone to get them to bow down to him. She’s making him uncomfortable.

“I would like to say that it’s good to see you again, Agent Scully, but I am not sure if it’s really a good thing for you to be back here”, he started.

Scully leaned back and crossed her legs. Of course, she is aware of the danger of getting back to her real world but staying undercover, living on lies only to move on to the next lie will be the death of her, not physically, but mentally and emotionally.

“I appreciate the concern, sir, and I am grateful for all the lengths you went through to make sure Agent Mulder and I remain safe but I cannot remain on that post any longer. Let’s just say that I’m on the end of my tether when it comes to my hold on myself. I have to consider my own sanity along with being alive”, she said.

“Are you saying that you want to be reassign to the X Files?” he asked.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I was saying”, she answered without blinking.

Her bluntness and distance caught him off guard. Scully had always been the one to talk on an eye level with him but something feels different for Kersh. 

“You know, I must say, it’s like I am talking to a different person right now. You look exactly the same except for the hair but talking to you feels different. You’re different”, he commented.

She hummed at that.

“Well, that’s what living multiple lives for ten years will do to a person. I am not quite there yet, going back to myself, but I would like to try to get my real life back no matter how screwed up that is. That is mine. The lives that I had these past few years, some of them were ideal, wonderful in a way. I could have stayed there, claimed it as mine but that would be me lying to myself. I don’t want to live in an illusion, in lies. As hard as it is for you to hear or to accept, I would like to be back at the X Files Department and be Agent Mulder’s partner again. That’s a great start on getting my life back”, she explained.

He can only empathize. He knew what she went through for ten years. He’s the only one who knows, and her last assignment has been complicated to the point where she had asked him to pull her out. He wanted to. He did not want to put her on torture but he’s more afraid of what ‘they’ would do to her if he pulled her out of the field. ‘They’ are dead set on killing both her and Agent Mulder if they start digging on the truth again. Looking at her now after for so long, he can see the toll of being undercover had done to her. Her gaze are calculating, always anticipating the danger, the worst of what’s to come. She’s mentally present but emotionally distant. Her posture is confident and reserved but there’s a hint of weariness in it. Somewhere in her eyes, he can see how lost she is. She’s back in her world and yet she does not know how to fit back in. He can put her back with Agent Mulder but he’s not even sure if she can get into it right away. It will be a hell of an adjustment.

“If I granted your request, I can no longer protect you and Agent Mulder”, he warned.

She will be back inside the lion’s den. 

“I understood. Agent Mulder has the same mindset as myself”, she agreed.

“I am aware. He sent me bunch of e-mails plus text messages and A.D. Skinner will not stop harassing me in my own office”,

The old man sighed in defeat.

“Very well, I cannot force you to remain undercover and it is not my intention to do more harm on your welfare. Effective immediately, you’re back to being partner with Agent Mulder and your post at the X Files is reinstated”, he yielded.

“Thank you, sir”, she replied and got on her feet.

“Dana”, he dropped the formality, “how are you doing?” he asked.

They’ve been through in quite a lot during her undercover days. Even though he told her that seeking help during her assignments would be difficult, he made sure to be there for her whenever she needed someone. 

“Lost. Confused. Conflicted. Afloat. I don’t know how to start living as me again but I will figure it out. You don’t have to worry, Alvin. I’ll be alright”, she answered and gave him a brief smile before leaving his office.

\---------------------------------

MULDER’S CAR

Mulder is munching sunflower seeds when she got back to his car outside of the building. He has been waiting for her there and insisted that he must stay inside the car while she talks with the boss. He’s not sure if Kersh will agree to her being reinstated back to the X Files and he cannot promise that he will behave himself if Kersh said no.

“So? How did it go?” he asked as soon as she locked the door.

“We’re partners again”, she answered.

He put down the seeds.

“He said yes?” she only nodded, “Oh my god…he said yes. You’re really staying here in D.C. You’re back on X Files!” he exclaimed happily.

She squinted and frowned at him.

“As much as it’s delightful to look at your cuteness when you’re this excited, may I remind you that we’re in an enclosed space and the sound level of your voice is drilling a hole in my brain”, she expressed.

He laughed at her annoyed expression. It’s the Scully he remembers. The one who rolls her eyes around at his outrageous theories and sighs at his idiotic impulsiveness. She’s slowly getting there and he’s glad.

“My apologies. I am just overjoyed with the news”, he apologized but he’s not really sorry at annoying her once more.

“I am aware”, she muttered.

“Well”, he started the engine and turned to her, “where to, partner?” he asked.

They both agreed that she will be staying in his apartment for a while until they can find a new house for her.

“If it’s alright with you, I would like to see my mother now”, she answered and he did not fail to detect the sound of nervousness in her voice.

“Off to Maggie’s then”, he uttered and then drove.

\----------------------------------

MAGGIE’S HOUSE

Scully and Mulder stood by the porch of Maggie’s house. He reassured her that her mother still lives in the same house as before. He waited for her to get all the courage she needs before she rang the doorbell. He held her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze for both encouragement and support. She returned a weak smile at him before focusing on the door. Then, Maggie opened the door.

“Hello, Mom”, she greeted.

Maggie was left frozen by the door. Her mouth left open and her eyes are wide like she had seen a ghost.

“Dana?” she asked like she cannot believe what she’s seeing.

“Don’t mind the hair. It’s me, Mom”, Scully answered.

Tears fell from her mother’s eyes uncontrollably. Maggie set aside the door and went to hug her daughter she has not seen in years. 

“Oh my…I never thought I will see you again but I have always prayed for you and your safety”, she confessed.

Maggie then turned to Mulder without letting go of her daughter and mouthed a ‘thank you’ towards him. He’s not sure why she was thanking him. It was not his decision for her to stay. It was hers. 

“Good evening, Mrs. Scully”, he greeted.

Maggie finally let go of her daughter only to hug Mulder next.

“It’s so nice to see you again, Fox”, she greeted back before hurrying them inside the house.

Scully can already hear the sound of chattering coming from the kitchen. She knew her mother was not alone. To be perfectly honest, she’s not ready for a big family reunion but it’s too late to backout now. Mulder sensed her anxiety. It is too much to ask of her to see everyone on her first day back in her real life. She already walked the office and talked to Kersh. She faced her mother. Facing her entire family along with their questions is quite a tall order to ask of her.

“Dana?” Bill muttered when they entered the dining area.

There are three more people sitting on the table. One man and two ladies. Mulder had not met them all except for Bill who is already glaring at him. 

“Hi, Bill”, Scully looked at the other man on the table, “Charlie…” she greeted.

Charlie…Mulder recalled of another brother he never seen before. It is indeed a family reunion and all of a sudden, he felt out of place. Maggie then held his hand like she can read his mind.

“Now everyone is here. We can start the dinner”, Maggie announced.

It was awkward as hell. Mulder can already attest to that. Charlie tried to lighten up the mood by making jokes about his sister’s hair. Maggie, on the other hand, is just overflowing with joy that her daughter is back. The two ladies: Bill’s wife Tara and Charlie’s wife Grace, filled Scully of what she missed in ten years she was gone. Meanwhile, Bill is trying to reign himself from exploding but Mulder’s appearance just prevented him from doing so.

“Where have you been all these years, Dana?” everyone went quiet. It seems like no one wants to bring that subject but Bill couldn’t just hold it in, “You just survived death…” glaring towards Mulder, “…and then disappeared for ten years”, he asked.

Surprisingly, Scully was calm. Mulder can see her walls are coming back up. It’s like he’s being transported to Baltimore. Bedelia is coming out to play.

“I have been assigned to work undercover for the bureau. It was confidential and they had been impressed on my first assignment that they decided I was better fit for the post, but I just spoke with my superior earlier and I requested a transfer back to X Files so I will be staying here for good”, she answered casually…coldly.

Even Maggie noticed the detachment in her voice and demeanor. It’s like she’s talking to a patient, a stranger, and not family.

“So, that’s it? That’s your explanation? You were gone for a long time and you put tremendous anguish in this family. You hurt Mom while you were away and you come back here like nothing’s happened”, the older brother exclaimed.

“Bill…she just got back here. Can we do this some other time? I would like to spend time with my family without the drama”, Charlie pleaded.

Tara and Grace seconded the plea, but Bill is persistent. Scully leaned back the chair and crossed her arms across her chest. 

“What would you like me to do then, Bill?” she asked.

She grew colder and colder by the minute and it’s scaring Mulder.

“I don’t know…apologize and actually mean it. Swear you will not put our mother through that kind of pain again”, he answered.

“I don’t seem to recall anyone bothering you to make you apologize each time you return from your travels. No one makes you swear to never put our mother through that kind of pain each time you’re about to leave without the certainty that you will make it back. I did not run away just for the hell of it, Bill. It’s my job just like it’s your job”, she responded.

“Stop acting like a freaking robot, Dana!” he shouted.

“Never do that again at a dinner table, Bill”, Mulder felt chills down his spine, “You’re lucky you’re in a different company. If you’ve been where I was, that rudeness will be the end of your life”, she got up and turned to Maggie. “I lost my appetite. Excuse me”, she said and left.


	18. Welcome Back Part 2

With everyone shocked, Mulder wiped his mouth with the table napkin and cleared his throat as he rose from his seat. Eyes turned to him.

“I should go check on her”, he said towards Maggie.

He does not suppose Bill will understand. He knows for certain that he does not. He hoped Maggie can, or at least, be open enough to give her daughter a space to breathe.

“Yes, thank you, Fox”, she replied and with that Mulder left the table and went outside.

Scully is standing by the porch with cigarette on her hand. He is not aware that she had brought her pack with her. He is quick to grab his coat from the rack and brought it with him outside. He was gentle when he put it around her shoulders to keep the cold at bay. She did not flinch. Whether she knew he’s coming or she’s too far gone to be startled by simple coat. Her gaze is far and lost in some place Mulder can never reach. With every puff from her cigarette, she releases the sorrow in her heart.

“Are you okay?” he finally asked.

He prayed he would not here her classic ‘I’m fine’ answer. He always knew what that meant, and he does not want to go through the process of deciphering signs to know how she really is. 

“There’s that one professor back in Florence, Professor Sogliato. He had the habit of picking on Hannibal when he was first accepted into the Capponi Library. He was just bitter that he got the job despite being American and all. He even went as far as trying to humiliate him in front of everyone during the ball. Hannibal got over it and I was able to take the bitter professor away but he kept picking on him so Hannibal invited him one night at the house for dinner”,

Why is she remembering this now? Is it because of Bill’s behavior earlier?

“I was wary. I knew Professor Sogliato disliked him and I would not want the night to turn into a disaster, but Hannibal insisted. He wanted to win him over, for some reason. Aesthetic became important for him so we hosted a proper dinner for him. He was rude. From the moment the dinner started, the bitter professor kept making snarky comments on everything Hannibal said. He had held his temper for as long as he could but if there’s one thing Hannibal could not tolerate, that’s rudeness and rudeness at the dinner table? Well, that’s a death wish. I had already anticipated it. I knew it’s going to happen and still, I sat there despite foreseeing it. Hannibal grabbed the icepick from the table and shoved it on Professor’s Sogliato’s head. One swift motion, I don’t think the Professor even felt that”,

“I’m so sorry, Scully, you had to see that”, he muttered. She smiled.

“I was in shock. How could someone kill a person with so much ease? Hannibal sat on his seat and began eating while Professor Sogliato chuckled and expressed he had gone blind. He was sitting across from me and yet he could not see me. I dared to care so I got up and pulled the icepick from his head to stop him from chuckling. He stopped. His head fell unto the bowl in front of him and his blood filled it. He died and Hannibal informed me that technically, I was the one who killed him”, she revealed.

Technically, Mulder is likely to agree but it was a setup. He can already smell it. Hannibal deliberately left that professor on the brink of death to see how she would react. He was trying to drag her deeper into darkness and what more effectively way to do it than make her an accessory to his crime.

“He set you up”, he said.

Scully inhaled more smoke until she ran out.

“I know. He never did things without a reason. Anyway, Hannibal had disposed the body in the only way he knows how. He invited another member of the Capponi Library and his wife for dinner and served Professor Sogliato’s meat and liver at the dinner table”,

Mulder swallowed at the thought.

“Poor couple…they had no idea what or who they were eating. I sat there all throughout and they sang Hannibal praises about his cooking until dinner ended”, she added.

A thought occurred to Mulder, something that sends shiver down his spine.

“Have you thought that happening to Bill earlier when he had raised his voice?” he asked.

There must be a reason why she’s talking about that time in Florence now. It could not be random. Scully never talks about random things. She decided against lighting up another cigarette and instead turned to him. She looked into his eyes before a smirk appeared on her lips.

“Don’t be absurd, Mulder. It’s so unlike you. Let’s go inside. It’s freezing out here”, she replied and went back in.

Mulder was left at the porch, dumbfounded. Is he still talking to Scully or Bedelia? There’s something sinister in her smile just then. She surely did not think about murdering her own brother, right? No. That’s too much. Scully will never go there.

The family gathered up by the living room. Charlie started telling stories about his job and the places he’s been in. He also handed gifts as token of his travels. He did apologize to Scully. He explained that he has no idea she’s coming so he was not able to bring any for her. Scully was gracious and informed him that it was okay. Maggie is still wary but her happiness to be with her daughter again is clouding her anxiety. Bill, on the other hand, is quiet. He’s like a hawk observing everything. At one point, Mulder caught him staring at him. He’s not sure if he had seen the fear and concern in his eyes while looking at Scully. If he has, he’s not sure whether Bill can interpret it correctly.

“So, any exciting places you were able to visit, sis?” Charlie asked Scully.

Everyone can taste the tension in the air. Charlie is only hoping to bring her into the conversation but he cannot take the worry from the others.

“I don’t know about exciting but for the first time, I was able to see Paris and Florence, Italy”, she answered.

The wives seemed to have exhaled relief while Maggie was surprised by the information.

“Well, I have not been to Florence. What was it like?” her brother asked, completely interested in the subject.

“It’s beautiful. The architecture and the arts are rich in that place. Everything is fresh at the market. Though it rains most of the time, I liked the gloominess of the place. It kind of sets the tone. The balls are also something not to miss”, she answered with a smile.

Mulder felt relieved that her brother was able to lighten her up with the conversation. He thinks Scully likes telling him as well about Florence. She did mention once that her younger brother is interested in different cultures so learning about Florence is something of interest for him. However, it did not last long. Bill scoffed and then chuckled. The smile on her face disappeared.

“You had the time to attend balls? Undercover job must be something, huh”, her older brother commented.

“Bill…” Tara sighed.

“No. I was just curious. She said earlier she did not leave for the hell of it but now, she’s talking about arts and architecture and markets and balls…seriously, Dana. What kind of undercover job were you doing? Lifestyle research?” Bill exclaimed.

That killed everything. Mulder was on edge. He’s ready to bolt, grab Scully, and left the house. Scully is simply unreadable. 

“No, it’s not the job I was doing, Bill, although it sounded a lot nicer the way you just put it”, she responded coolly.

The affection in her voice that was previously there was gone. It saddened Charlie. He was hoping to have a nice and fun talk with his sister he had not seen for years.

“Yeah…surely, attending balls was so goddamn hard, huh. It must have been dangerous”, Bill taunted.

“Alright…I think we should go, Scully”, Mulder cut in.

He does not want it to escalate any further. Getting through to Scully when they first saw each other was hard enough, he does not want to go through that again. He did not bring her to that house to be bullied by her brother.

“Oh, screw you, Mulder! You don’t get to decide in this place because you don’t belong here! This is for family only!”

“Bill, stop it!” Maggie exclaimed.

“You’re defending him still? He dragged Dana into this life and he had screwed up everything for her and you still defend him?” Bill complained.

Mulder sighed. He does not want to prolong the drama. He sought for Scully’s eyes and he had found them. Her stare is no longer cold but furious. His not sure whether she’s furious at him or with Bill. 

“I don’t want to argue. We’re leaving”, Mulder said.

Thankfully, Scully got up and agreed to leave with him. 

“No, you stop running after him like a fucking lovesick puppy!” Bill had got up too and took a few big steps and grabbed Scully by her arm.

That had done it. Her reflexes kicked in and reacted rather violently. Despite the height and weight differences, she was able to maneuver her way so that she was able to slam Bill against the wall and pinned him there. Her hand was quick to pull out a tactical knife Mulder never knew she carries. They all heard the click of the blade coming out and the next thing they saw is Scully pinning Bill against the wall with a knife pressed against his neck.

“Dana!” Maggie exclaimed as she got up.

In fact, everyone is on their feet. The blade is pressed against his skin and one move, his blood will be out spilling in Maggie’s living room. Fear is now evident in the bigger man’s eyes. He’s staring at her sister like he does not recognize her and that’s because he does not. She’s been gone for too long. She’s not the same Dana he can boss around. 

Scully remains focused on his neck. Her blade looks good on his skin. How many times she saw Hannibal spills blood? She had even saw him once cutting human meat to be served at the dinner table. He uses a particular type of knife, so sharp, cutting human meat looked so easy in her eyes. She imagined if that will be the same cutting Bill open. She just bought her knife. She’s pretty sure it’s still sharp. That time she walked in the store, it already caught her eyes. It’s simple and elegant and the seller assured her it’s quite deadly. The temptation to test that now is overwhelming. Just one cut. It will be enough to get a taste. She had killed before and looking past the guilt and remorse, she felt thrilled. She had shoved her arm down Neal Frank’s throat and broke Rinaldo Pazzi’s neck. She would be lying if she did not get pleasure from those.

“Scully”, Mulder’s voice so close in her ear broke that fantasy.

She had not realized she’s breathing heavily to the point that she’s panting. Every fiber of her being is urging her to make the cut but something in her is stopping her and it’s more than the fact that it’s her brother she’s trying to kill. It’s also Mulder. She has become aware of his hand on her shoulder, its warmth that brought her comfort, made her relaxed.

“Come on, Scully. We don’t have to stay. We can go home”, he added.

Slowly, Mulder was able to take the knife from Scully’s hand without scraping Bill’s neck. The knife is brand new and extremely sharp. She relaxes after catching her breath and released Bill from the wall. He can see that she’s still shaking from it. The struggle is in her eyes. Who knows how much it took for her to stop herself from actually killing Bill? He can only imagine too much. He put the knife inside his pocket and cupper her face to bring her back to the present.

“Scully…look at me”, and she did, “You’re back. There’s no need to live on edge anymore. Trust me”, he whispered so no one can hear.

Her body is still shaking but it subsided a little bit unlike earlier.

“Take me away from here, Mulder”, she said with her voice breaking towards the end of her request.

Mulder saw Maggie in tears. He knows she does not want her to leave yet but after what just happened, it’s for the best and he hopes that she can understand that as well.

“Let’s go”, he said and ushered Scully out of the house and into the car and then drove away.


	19. At His Apartment

It has been agreed that Scully will be staying with Mulder while they’re still looking for her new house. She had earlier suggested that she get a hotel but he insisted on not leaving her alone. After what happened at her mother’s house, he surely would not want to leave her alone any time of the day. It’s all fresh in his mind, the way Scully closed off when Bill started arguing with her, the way she slammed her brother against the wall and pressed her knife against his neck. It is a whole new side of her he’s not acquainted with. He could understand her reaction with Pfaster. That monster had attacked her in her own home and tried to kill her and mutilate her. Bill was different and yet she reacted the same way.

She has been very quiet since they left her mother’s house. When they arrived at his apartment, she went in without a word. He set her luggage inside the bedroom while she sat on the couch quietly. He noticed her hand picking on her skirt. Her eyes are blank, like she’s not at all present in the room with him.

“Scully…” he called as he sat next to her.

He took her hand from her skirt to stop her from ruining her clothes because he knows she would not like it in the morning.

“I didn’t hurt him, did I?” she asked in almost like a whisper.

She’s referring to Bill. The guilt has settled in.

“No. You startled him, frightened him, I guess, but he had that coming”, he answered while trying to lighten up the mood but it fell flat.

She’s no longer shaking which is good but she’s still distant and cold.

“Do you have my knife?” he nodded, “I would like to have it back tomorrow. Please don’t lose it”, she said.

She never carried knife before. She always got her gun as standard protocol but a knife? It’s new. Maybe because she spent years not carrying gun with her so she opted for knives. Being undercover, it would be hard to explain why she has a gun but knife can be explained as something she can use to defend herself. 

“Of course, you should turn in. The bed is already made for you. I’ll take the couch”, he replied.

Scully simply nodded and went to his bedroom and closed the door. He did not follow. He knows when she closed the door, she wanted to be alone. The thin wall between his bedroom and the living room is the only comforting thought that allowed him to relax on his couch. At least he would be able to hear whenever she needs him.

Mulder remembered that she’s going to be reinstated to the X Files with him. They’re going to work on field and what he saw earlier alarmed him. If she’s that jumpy, she’s bound to hurt someone. If he informed Skinner about it, Scully will get mad at him, but it will be irresponsible not to. She must at least undergo psych evaluation and tests. He’s surprised Kersh did not instruct her to do so. Mulder decided to wait. He hopes by then, Skinner would be the one to think of that.

Inside Mulder’s bedroom, Scully lied awake on the bed, staring at his mirror ceiling. Bill just knew how to strike a nerve and she’s used to that, at least back then. She did not expect the reaction she had when he started arguing with her. She felt attacked. She felt a like a little girl being scolded by her big brother. It’s not why she came there. She wanted to see her family again and Bill ruined the whole thing. She was furious but being furious got nothing to do with it. No. It scares her to admit it but earlier, she cannot help but put herself to Hannibal’s shoes. What would Hannibal do? She knows he wouldn’t have the patience to tolerate her brother’s behavior earlier. She kept thinking what he would do to him. She thought about the thrill she got when she indulged darkness and though it has shattering consequences afterwards like the guilt, the adrenaline and satisfaction during the act of violence makes her excited.

Hannibal really did a number on her and she knows that. The beast and his muse. His muse who turned on him and got him arrested. It’s all twisted up. Now, she carries that darkness she acquired from their time together. She kept telling herself she’s no longer Bedelia Du Maurier but whenever she looks at the mirror, it’s all she sees. She does not know how to be anyone else anymore or how to be Dana Scully again. Back in her mother’s house, she saw pictures of her and frankly, she fails to recognize herself. It’s been too long since she last been her old self. She will return as Dana Scully and resume working at the X Files. She is aware of Mulder’s worry that she might not be able to handle it. After what happened earlier, she understood if he’ll try to convince her to take a few more days rest before working again but she cannot remain idle. Her sick brain tends to wander off when she’s idle. Besides, she already spent too much time doing nothing back in Baltimore and Florence. She must work.

“Mulder”, she found herself calling his name.

It did not take a minute before Mulder opens the door. The wall is too thin and he can hear even the sound of her breathing at the living room.

“What’s wrong?” he asked in concern.

“I cannot sleep. Can you stay here a moment?” she answered.

Mulder closed the door and joined her on the bed. She feels cold as always and he wrapped his arm around her to keep her warm. It’s the same thing they did back in her house in Baltimore although something is different this time. Scully is too close. He just felt her ass pressed on him and it elicited reaction from his body which she hummed approval in response. His brain tried to work what’s happening fast but she wouldn’t let him. She guided his hand to her left breast and squeezed, her hand over his.

“Scully…” he warned.

She tilted her head, exposing her bare neck to his disposal and he involuntarily buried his nose on her skin as his lips landed on that spot on her neck which made her moaned.

“Mulder, please…” she whispered.

Before he got carried away, he pulled back and she turned around fast to frown at him.

“Scully, I don’t think this is right”, he pants, “I get it that you feel lost at the moment and what happened earlier is unexpected but this is the way to deal with those things. I want to touch you. I do. But I want to do it the right way and not take advantage of you”, he explained.

She did not respond. She just stared at him, studied him before her hand pulled him by his shirt into a deep and hungry kiss.

“You’re not going to do anything I did not consent to. I already said please once. I will not say it again”, she said.

When their lips met again, Mulder relinquished control. She wants it and god knows how much he wants it too. He attacked her lips, her neck, her breasts, before he removed her underwear and attacked her center.

“God, yes…” she moaned and it just reinforced his desire for her.

They had danced with each other for a long time. They had danced around their feelings for each other for a very long time. It seems like years had stripped them the control and the care for professional boundaries that kept them from being together all those years ago. Mulder laps, kissed, sucked, and relished her while Scully did not bother hide the pleasure she’s feeling from his ministrations. He entered her with two fingers and curled them to hit the spot that made her gasped. He replaced her tongue with his thumb so he can watch her be swallowed whole by the ocean of pleasure. It makes his chest hurt at how beautiful she is. Her face is flushed. Her lips are red, swollen from his kisses earlier. Her knuckles are white from her grip on the sheets.

“Let go, Scully. Come for me”, he urges and with that, she fell apart.

“Fuck, Mulder!” she screamed as she reached her climax.

The sight of her shattering in pleasure made him so hard he rubbed himself just to alleviate the pressure.

“Please…” she pleaded again and it’s all it takes for him, really.

He freed himself and thrusts into her without for her to come down from her high.

“Fuck, Scully…” he breathed.

He tried to set up a slow pace but with her clenching around him, it’s hard not to go feral. He can feel her nails digging on his back. He had fantasized before how it would be to be inside her, how it would be to make love to her and his fantasies failed in comparison to what he’s feeling right now. Every little thing provides sensation. Her nails scraping him, her thighs clamping on his waist, her breath on a rapid rhythm on his shoulder and neck, her scent composed of her sweat, perfume, and her arousal…all of it are overwhelming him. Mulder wants to take his time to absorb everything, to thoroughly explore her but his years of longing and her responses is pushing him to the edge. He will not last long.

“Harder, Mulder”, she demanded and he happily obliged.

He pumped into her hard and unforgiving. Her nails broke his skin and it only added fuel to the fire. She’s loud. He never thought she’s loud. He’s almost there when something she did surprised him. She took his hand and put it around her neck. Mulder stopped thrusting and she groaned in protest.

“Scully”, 

“Why did you stop? It’s alright”, she asked.

He felt confused and conflicted. Is she really into this kind of thing? He will not deny the appeal but he also felt that it’s connected to her previous experiences.

“I don’t want to hurt you”, he answered.

“You will not. Come on, Mulder”, she reassured him.

He began to move slowly but because he’s beyond throbbing, the pace became frantic once again and his hand gripped tighter. When he noticed her face turning red, he tried to pull his hand back but her hand held it in place.

“Harder”, she urges.

“Ah, fuck!” he cursed and he exploded in her.

The whole thing seems surreal for him. He cannot believe that it happened. He wanted to get lost in the ethereal feeling of having made love with Scully but he was pulled back from it when he heard her coughing underneath him. He had let go of her neck already but he must have squeezed too hard when he came.

“Oh my god…I’m so sorry, Scully”, guilt washed over him.

“Don’t apologize. I wanted it, Mulder. I like it”, she said.

Since when did she like having someone choke her to death? Mulder cannot answer that. They’ve been apart for far too long. He needs to accept that parts of her have changed. To erase his concern, she pulled him down for a kiss and it worked.

“Stay here for a bit. I’ll get a towel”, he whispered and left.

While Mulder is gone, it’s her turn to feel guilty. She knows he is uncomfortable with what she had asked him to do. Mulder knows how to get rough but strangulation is too much for him and yet she still pushed him to do it. It’s not something she’s into but she’s chasing some sense of danger that’s usually accompanying sex for her. At least, it’s what sex has been for her for the last couple of years with Hannibal. He did not strangle her or hurt her to feel the danger. It’s just him. He was the danger and it added to the thrill of the whole thing. She knows it is wrong but she wanted the same with Mulder. She wanted that added thrill. If she’s to reign herself in with violence, might as well get close to darkness in the sex department.

Sex with Mulder is all about passion and love. She knows that beforehand even years ago. She knows Mulder will never hurt her. He’s the type to always consider her before his own pleasure. It sounds nice to her but she wanted more, just a little bit more to tamper her dark impulses. It’s her destructive nature coming to play, her nature that Bedelia Du Maurier encouraged and nurtured for years. It is the nature that Dana Scully had caged and suppressed all her life. It came out once which almost got her killed in Philadelphia. After that, she kept locked ever since. Hannibal had set that side of her free and she’s struggling to cage it back in. She shouldn’t have done to Mulder. 

“Hey, are you alright?” he asked when he got back.

“Yeah…I’m fine”, she responded in reflex and she saw his face hardened.

He did not say anything and just proceeded with cleaning her up. She knows he did not believe her. It’s his gift.

“I love you, Scully”, he said when she looked at him.

“I love you too, Mulder, but you’ll have to give me time. I sort of lost the ability to express it right these days”, she replied.

“It’s alright. We have all the time in the world”, he said.


	20. Starting Again...almost

First day of work...

Scully had undergone psychiatric evaluation as instructed by Skinner which she did not object to. She knows it is necessary and part of the protocol for any returning agents who had been assigned to do undercover work. She passed the evaluation, of course. It is the game she’s been playing for years and she’s a master of making people see what they want to see in her. The psychiatrist just wanted to know if she’s alright, if she can handle the job. All she had to do is assure her and it’s done. Skinner seemed satisfied with the recommendation to allow her back to work and she’s quickly reinstated back to X Files.

“Is that black coffee?” she asked when she entered their office down the basement.

She had to stop by Skinner’s office to hand over the recommendation before coming down. It made her happy to see that there’s not a lot of changes in the room and her desk had improved to a bigger one with her name on it.

“I had it ordered when we got back here and it came two days ago. The name plate is Skinner’s handy work and yes, this is black coffee”, Mulder explained when he saw her staring at her space.

It has been an issue back then when she asked him once why she did not have a desk. Of course, she meant it deeper than that but the younger Mulder at that time was stupid enough to miss what she was trying to say and made it all about the ‘desk’. He now knows better and he understood what she meant that day. He walked towards her desk and placed the cup.

Scully smiled and hummed in appreciation when she smelled the coffee. She then placed her bag onto the desk and removed her black trench coat. His eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw what she’s wearing underneath the coat.

She is dressed in a black dress that hugged her body nicely, accentuating her figure. It sits at the top of her knees and it’s partnered with a black high heel, way higher than what she used to wear before. Her blonde locks are curled to perfection. Her makeup is done light and fresh. He also noticed her subtle accessories: the matching golden earrings, necklace, bracelet, watch, and two rings. Scully never wore that much jewelries in the office before. If he does not know any better, he’d think she’s about to attend a gathering or a party or a red-carpet premiere. She looks absolutely stunning.

“Is there something wrong?” she asked when she caught him staring.

Mulder cleared his throat.

“Nothing. It’s just that…you look so beautiful”, he answered and it’s not a lie.

“I can sense a but coming”, she guessed.

“Well, I guess I’m just not used to seeing you here looking so gorgeous and I am sure that everyone will agree with me when they see you”, he added.

He meant it in a nice way and he does think she’s gorgeous but he saw her mood shifted from jolly to lost. Mulder felt bad about ruining her morning and he immediately went to her side.

“I’m fine, Mulder”, he almost flinched with that sentence. “I know you’re used to a different Scully down here with you and I want to try but, this is the type of clothes I got right now. Honestly, I grew to develop a taste for this kind of fashion, if you’d like to call it that. I am aware that it’s not who I was but I can’t shake it off. My body moves unconsciously while I put myself together”, she explained.

He wrapped his arms around her to let her know it’s alright. Of course, she would have a hard time getting away from Bedelia. She spent years living her life. He honestly does not mind her new sense of style or her blonde hair. He was just surprised. That’s all.

“It’s alright. I think I will have a field day watching the guys in this building drooling when they see how beautiful you are and I am the lucky bastard who takes you home”, he whispered.

It brightened up her mood. She smiled and allowed him to kiss her cheek before she pushed him away.

“Thank you, Agent Mulder”, he raised an eyebrow, “…but as you can see, we’re at the office right now so we must be professional”, she teased.

Mulder hummed and chuckled.

“Okay…” he breathed in deep and controlled himself and his arousal, “Alright, Agent Scully. I can be professional, if you can”, he said.

She smirked at him and took a sip from her cup.

“Oh, I can do that, Agent Mulder”, she replied.

They did not last long. They ended up fucking each other into oblivion in their little office down the basement and it was great.

The following days have been great too, in fact. They fell into their usual routine. They took it slow for Scully’s benefit and she did not mind. She wanted to adjust and settle back to her old self without rushing it so Mulder chose cases that were close to home. Scully had missed the cheap motels they can afford with FBI’s budget. Sometimes, she was tempted to use her own money to check in an expensive and more comfortable hotels but she’s Scully again, and Scully does not back down from cheap motels.

She and Mulder had begun hunting for new house as well. They first stumbled upon a large one with big glass walls. It has a garden and it’s a smart house. It appeals to her but not to her real self. It appeals to her Bedelia side and she can see that side of her buying the house in instant but she’s not there to continue her life as her alter ego, so they kept looking.

“This is the one”, she muttered.

They are standing in front of an old farmhouse in Richmond. It has a huge land around it and it’s near the woods. Mulder frowned at Scully and her choice. He thought the first house is going to be it but she changed her mind last minute and he was glad. It looked so expensive and so posh for him. Of course, they haven’t talked yet if he’s going to live with her once she finds ‘the’ house but if it’s up to him, he cannot see himself living in the first house. This one, however, it’s more like him. It’s simple. It’s remote. It’s quiet, and there’s plenty of space to roam around, play with a dog or throw a baseball ball or park dozens of cars. He does not think that it will be her taste too. Scully was not lavish but she got affinity for comfort.

“Really?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yes. It’s perfect, can’t you see?” she turned to him. “We can drink our coffee in that porch and just watch the sunrise and the birds and talk for hours until it’s time to cook something for lunch. I don’t know how many rooms are in there but you can have your own office or we can share like at the basement. We can both park our cars side by side out here. We can finally have dogs and we got all these lands to explore”, she answered with enthusiasm.

It warmed his heart to hear that he’s part of her plans in buying the house. She sees herself living in it with him.

“I think I can see it now”, he replied and it made her smile.

She’s been living alone for so long that she forgot how it felt to have someone in her life. Living with Mulder the last few days reminded her of what it was like before she left. There is no doubt in her mind that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She loves him and he loves her. He sticks with her despite all of her issues, the nightmares, the mood swings. He helped her come to terms with herself. She wanted to be in that house with him and start a life.

They decided to both purchase the house. Mulder had given up his apartment and they moved in at their new home. He never thought shopping for furniture can be that fun. Of course, it only felt that because he’s with Scully. They got to share an office on the ground floor of the house which is what they’re used to anyway. They both a small TV for the living room where they can watch Mulder’s favorite old movies. The kitchen is clearly Scully’s domain. Everything in that area is her choice and Mulder did not object to it. It is her palace. Upstairs, there’s three bedrooms: one is the master’s and the other two are guestrooms. Mulder was glad that Scully is now okay with bathtubs and she insisted on getting a large one so they can both fit in it. After a few weeks, they’re both fully settled in and comfortable.

It’s made known in the office that they’re both living together but no one is really surprised by it. They’ve all had the idea since day one. The bureau did not separate them since they worked so well together. Scully continued to turn heads with her outfits at the office. It is natural for her to dress up that way but not for the other agents who are used to wearing suits. That kind of clothing seemed so dull for her now but she tried to keep it monotone and she gone easy with the accessories.

One morning, they have been summoned at Kersh’s office for an emergency meeting. At this point, Mulder and Scully have been taking bigger cases since she has been more comfortable being back to X Files. Kersh felt a little comfortable when Scully glanced over to him but he quickly recovered.

The two sat in front of him and both Kersh and Skinner felt strange in seeing Scully moved in a certain way that is foreign to them. It is not new for Mulder because he had learned to accept that she has changed in some ways because of her experiences and that it’s only her posture and mannerism. It’s still her, only with more knowledge than him.

“Alright, we’re not going to beat around the bush here. We called you here because a murder was committed last night in Georgetown. A body of a woman was discovered inside a church by the priest early this morning”,

The two agents listened attentively.

“The body was mutilated. We’re still waiting for the DNA results for her identity since the body was unrecognizable”, Kersh said.

“Shouldn’t you call VCU for this?” Mulder asked.

Skinner quietly handed them the case file which Scully took and opened in silence.

“I mean, if this is a murder case, this is VCU’s domain. It’s not an X File”, Mulder went on.

Scully stiffened beside him and it got his attention.

“What is it?” he asked her.

Her eyes are focused on the photos inside the file and she handed them to Mulder when she’s done looking. He saw why she reacted that way. The corpse was skinned, mutilated, and deformed to form a broken heart. It was the same thing that happened to the body of Anthony Dimmond back in Florence.

“Have you already called Jack Crawford?” Mulder asked in a serious tone.

“We did when we found out about the murder. He confirmed fifteen minutes later that Dr. Lecter had broken out of prison yesterday”, Skinner answered.

“Yesterday? Yesterday? He got out yesterday and no one bothered to tell us that monster escaped yesterday?” Mulder exclaimed.

“Jack Crawford did not know about the escape until this morning. Dr. Lecter was already in jail serving his sentence. He did not know but now we do”, Kersh explained.

“…and now he’s here in D.C.”, Scully calmly said.

All boys turned to her. Her skin has become pale but she maintains that stoic look on her face that Mulder knows as Bedelia’s mask. She’s closing off again.

“We cannot be sure that it’s him. It could be a copycat. He’ll be stupid to come here when the all authorities are looking for him”, Skinner said.

The man is trying to calm them down but Mulder couldn’t help but scoffed at that while Scully remained passive, gradually falling into depths of memories.

She can still hear his voice yelling that day she’d revealed to him that she’s the reason he’s been caught, that she betrayed him. She can see the look on his face, the hurt, the anger. The words remained engrave in her brain.

“Hannibal is not going to run this time. He made a vow. He swore that when he gets out, he will not eat me hastily, that he will make sure I am aware while he devours me piece by piece. Hannibal Lecter is a man of his words. That’s why he’s here in D.C. He killed that woman to let us know that. We don’t need to chase him. He will come after me on his own”, she muttered.

“I will not let him. We’ll get his ass again and send him back to where he belongs and make sure that he stays there forever this time. I promise”, Mulder swore.


End file.
